The Agency
Viva Fidel!

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Erin: C | Grade It Now!
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"Intelligence" doesn't really enter into it

Patton goes on to say that this murdered associate had infiltrated a group known as [insert quickly spoken bad-ass Cuban assassination group name here] that has been around for a long time. "A few people saw the man who killed our source and I should be receiving an identi-kit later today," Patton says. "Identi-kit"? There's some more of that spy-speak that we're going to be bombarded with during the rest of this show. Get it? IT'S THE CIA.

Patton turns to Billy and asks what his Cuban source has to say. Wow. Billy works fast. He's just shown up and he's already got a Cuban source? Maybe I should get me one of those. Maybe a Cuban source could get me a job, or at least a box of decent cigars. "He hasn't heard of any assassination plot out of the thirty or forty exile groups in Miami," responds Billy. "He says [insert quickly spoken bad-ass Cuban assassination group name here] tops his list for most likely to. He wishes them luck." The Spy Boys laugh ironically.

Patton says that the bad-ass Cuban assassination group is headed by a guy named Antonio Moray (your guess is as good as mine on the spelling of this one). Moray's father and paternal uncle were both killed by Fidel's revolutionary tribunal in 1960. The Moray factories and tobacco plantations were all closed due to these deaths. Patton finishes up by saying that these facts are just the top sheet of a rather extensive file, and that he's ordered up archived files for further investigation.

Rocky steps up to bat. By the way, his character's name is "Carl Reese," but I like "Rocky" much better, so "Rocky" it shall be. Rocky fills everyone in on Castro's detailed itinerary. One of the Spy Guys belligerently says that he's not going to get any support from his division on this. On what? On Castro's travel plans? On how many packets of peanuts Castro gets between Cuba and New York? Shut up, dude. Grab yourself another cup of CIA-sanctioned Sanka and shut the hell up.

Big Cheese ignores Snotty Spy Guy and says, "Fidel Castro has been a thorn in this agency's side for forty years. Half a dozen times, the President has ordered us to kill him. Half a dozen times, I've watched my predecessors fail. Do you know what the President said to me less than an hour ago? 'Do everything in your power to maintain status quo.'" "Save Fidel," Billy says, trying to firmly ensconce himself between Big Cheese's butt cheeks. Yes, Billy. Unless maintaining status quo involves slaughtering a long-standing Cuban leader, I'd say that means you're supposed to save the son of a bitch. "If Casey was still around," says Big Cheese, "he'd laugh my ass all the way across the Potomac." Aw, look at the reference to the former head of Reagan's CIA. These writers must have been combing countless websites for CIA references just to make these lines sound as pertinent and inside-workings-sounding as possible. Good work, writers!

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The Agency

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