Amazing Race
25 Days, 50 Cities, And More Than 600 Consecutive Hours As A Family…

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Canada, dry

Commercials.

When we come back, the Weavers are still hunting. Meanwhile, on the down elevator, everyone hopes the Weavers take a long time. But the Weavers do indeed spot the marker with the binoculars and head down. At the bottom, Weavers and Bransens get in their cars and head for the marker they saw from the tower. The Weavers, dragging a little, get their map and leave. The first to arrive at the clue box are the Linzes, and Megan pulls the clue. The Bransens are right behind. And the clue is a Detour, offering a choice between Ship or Shoe. In Ship, you sail across the harbor to a boat where you climb up 100 feet and retrieve a flag. In Shoe, you search for a shoe museum, and then they pick a pair of shoes and hunt through 100 women, Cinderella-style, to find the one who fits the shoes they have. The task is easy, but potentially tedious.

The Linzes pick Ship. The Bransens leave as the Weavers are arriving, and the Bransens choose Shoe, which surprised me a little bit. The Weavers read the clue and don't like the idea of the 100 women, so they take Ship. I like the part where Rolly tries to be studly and hop a gate and finds himself unable to clear it. Way to go, hotshot.

Queensquay Sailing and Powerboating, where we are to find the boats that will take the teams out to the Ship option. The Linzes arrive first, so they go inside and get a captain, who puts them into lifejackets and tells them that their first rule is that they have to listen to whatever he says. They take off in their sailboat, being lightly instructed along the way. The Bransens, meanwhile, are getting directions to the shoeseum (tm M. Giant). The Weavers arrive at the sailboats and notice that the Linzes are already there. Mama Weaver drives the boat as they take off.

The Linzes work on steering their boat, trying not to hit Megan in the head on the way. The Weavers turn their boat as well. The Bransens find the shoeseum. Inside, there are indeed a lot of barefoot women walking around. This Detour option is kind of wasted on a bunch of chicks, it occurs to me. They pick out a pair of shoes that look easy to put on. They dive in and gamely approach a bunch of different women, but the shoe fits none of them. (I enjoyed having someone at the TARcon come over to me and say, "It would suck to get on this show as an extra and then realize you were selected because of your huge, mannish feet.")

The Linzes are moving toward the tall ship where they'll do the Detour. The Weavers are on their way as well. Their captain tells them they're "steering a perfect course." Boo! The Linzes are first to arrive at the Detour, and they hop up onto the ship. Tommy is the one assigned to climb up the mast, for which he is well-trained after a lifetime of underwear-related pranks (just a guess) and he gets strapped and helmeted and takes off. "Nice, Bone," Megan cheers, in a way I encourage you to try not to find disturbing. Tommy reaches the flag and takes it, clipping it to his harness and coming down. They turn in their flag and get the next clue, which tells them to drive 81 miles to Queenston, get a jet boat, and ride up the gorge into the Niagara whirlpool, where a clue will be attached to a buoy. The Linzes run. The Weavers note that the Linzes are already finished with the Detour. Where is God? Why did He not knock Tommy off the mast the way He should have?

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Amazing Race

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