Amazing Race
4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Back to the (sucking) Windy City

Back at the hotel, Freddy gets a busy signal from the travel agent and has to dial again. Kris and Jon get to the travel agent, but when they get there, they have trouble communicating. Both teams continue to struggle, and ultimately, Kris and Jon find the language barrier with the travel agent too much to overcome, and they return to the hotel, where Freddy and Kendra are -- wouldn't you know it -- already getting tickets by hitting the business center. Luck of the impromptu diplomats! They get a guy to help them look at the computer, and he tells them that there's a 9:00 AM flight out of Xi'an, connecting through Osaka. They'll get into Honolulu at 9:40 in the morning. He also tells them that it will take about an hour to get to the airport, so Freddy notes that they need to get moving. They take off for the airport.

Kris and Jon come back to the business center, but it's too late for them to hit the 9:00 out, and that will put them on a 10:30 flight connecting through Tokyo, getting them into Honolulu at 9:45 AM. So that's a relief, at least. They book it.

Nuance shows up at the airport and runs inside. They make the 9:00 AM flight, but when they high-five over their victory, she's like, "Ow." Because Princess Kendra is too delicate for high-fives. Oh, man. That makes me appreciate Rebecca. She's a little goofy, but at least you don't break the bones in her hand by handing her a fucking beer. And that's not even counting what you would do to her if the beer had a twist-off cap. ["Girl, please. Like Kendra drinks beer." -- Sars] Nuance finds itself the only team on the first flight out of Xi'an, so that probably feels good. Kris and Jon then get to the airport, and they get on their flight to Tokyo.

Hornio leaves at 11:20 AM. No kidding, it's 11:20 AM. They finished six hours behind Kris and Jon. Rebecca says that the key to the leg will be not fighting. So, you know, wish them luck. They go to book tickets, and they get a flight out of Xi'an at 1:00, going through Osaka and landing in Honolulu at 11:00 AM. So they've made up all but a little over an hour of their delay already. They get in the car and head for the airport, and Rebecca comments how their driver "is bad-ass," and "you can say anything to this guy, and he has no clue." Normally, I don't really condone making fun of the non-English-speaking, but when Rebecca takes El Hornio by the shoulders and amiably grins, "He has three testicles!", it's a little bit funny. And indeed, the driver smiles agreeably. They hop out at the airport, run down the hall, and board their plane. Rebecca hopes out loud for a bunching point shortly.

When Nuance lands in Osaka, they decide to try for a better flight to Honolulu. They finally find one, and they take themselves down to the gate. In an incredibly weird twist I wouldn't believe if someone at my table hadn't told me it once happened to him, the gate agent tells them that there are seats on the plane, but there's no meal for them. Of course, Nuance says they don't need a meal, it's fine, but...nothing doing. They literally will not let you on the plane if they don't have the hockey puck of chicken or whatever to feed you. It's sort of ironic that you can't get a meal on a plane in the U.S. anymore unless you pay five dollars for a sandwich that's built like a brick. It's "against company policy." "Please," Kendra says, "I have a sick child in Honolulu, and I have to get to her." Still hate that crap. Again, not because I think it's some enormous moral problem, but because I don't want to watch that kind of show, which will be boring and reward all the wrong things. Kendra cries, and she and Freddy beg, but the guy tells them it's company policy. Freddy laments their situation, and he thinks I'm going to care, which I don't. I don't really want anybody to get a three-hour lead, but especially not them.

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Amazing Race

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