Amazing Race
4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Back to the (sucking) Windy City

Hayden and Aaron stop and ask for directions to the Terra Cotta Warriors again, and they're directed that they can in fact walk from where they are, so they hop out. Apparently, their driver wasn't quite as wrong as it seemed like he was for a while. "That was a nightmare, that taxi ride," Hayden says. They go inside and make their way to the clue box. As they're leaving, she declares that there's no way she's getting back in the taxi they had before. "I refuse," she says. But Aaron presses for the gamble, so they get right back in the taxi in which they've just had such a horrible experience. Aaron is sure that it will take longer to deal with getting a new one and they're going to lose if they don't just go. Which I guess depends on just how much you think your cab driver sucks, which is always a delicate calculation.

Hornio is feeling its oats as El Hornio declares that they're going to be number one today -- he just has a feeling. A feeling deep in his soul. Deep in his gut. Deep in his horns. Rebecca orders him not to jinx them, says, "Knock on wood," and knocks on his head. She is such a weird combination of Contemporary Ass-Wiggling Crazy Girl and Girl Who Saw Too Many Episodes Of Things With Sid Caesar In Them.

In the Kris and Jon cab, they're listening to their driver talk on the cell phone, and talking in a sort of idle way about how Chinese sounds very "forceful" to them, and it sounds very different from English. To Jon, it always sounds like they're in an argument. Of course, I would say that most cab drivers on cell phones always sound to me like they're in an argument, but Jon is chalking it up to the fact that he can't understand any Chinese. As he points out, it's got much less in common with English than, say, Italian or French. "Chinese is not a Germanic language," Kris says with understatement. She turns to him. "Babe-I-love-you!" she says in a "forceful" manner. "Could-you-please-fetch-me-some-water!" he barks back, and they laugh. I'd be a lot more likely to be tut-tutting if (1) they weren't far more respectful to people in other countries than practically any other team ever; and (2) I weren't familiar with wondering who the cab driver is yelling at and why when he's not speaking English. I mostly think it's awesome that she chose "Babe, I love you" as her sample sentence.

Hornio is the first to arrive at the mountain. They buy their tickets at the entrance, and then they hop on the shuttle, where they buy shuttle tickets separately. They fret over the possibility that the other teams will catch up with them if the shuttle doesn't take off pretty soon, here. They are such a weird combination of hapless and sort of un-stompable. It's like you can knock them over, and they just keep popping up again. It's an annoying quality, but one that sometimes gets people a long way in life.

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Amazing Race

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