Amazing Race
5 Continents…10 Countries…And More than 59 Thousand Miles!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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And unicorns danced!

The mention of Japan sends BJ and Tyler into apoplectic fits, for reasons they will be explaining ad nauseam (and, of course, because they like having fits the way some people like pancakes or football). All the teams run for taxis. In their cab, Tyler explains that he has a Japanese girlfriend and that he walked across the country, a project the chronicling of which was mentioned in the forums approximately 400,000 times this season by people who I'm sure were not at all part of the Tyler-pimping street team, but simply friendly forum posters who coincidentally knew about the project because they run in obscure travelogue fandom and wanted to share. By the way, once you've read the story of how Tyler tried unsuccessfully to get into Stanford by making a horse's ass of himself in about 50 different ways (including painting his hippie-like Cadillac and using hippie-like donated private plane time), only to have the admissions committee break the news that being really obnoxious is not a good way to make a good impression, a lot more things about Tyler begin to make sense, in terms of incredibly poor skills in the area of room-reading. At any rate, he tells us how comfortable he is in Japan, and Eric and Jeremy confirm that they are aware of Tyler's advantage in this area. Wait, you mean he's mentioned it? Hard to believe, since his mouth is only open to talk about himself 96 percent of the time. (The rest of the time, he's asleep.)

At the airport, Ray and Yolanda learn of a United flight departing at 6:40 AM, arriving in Tokyo at 2:15 PM. They go to check it out. BJ and Tyler decide to try Nippon Air, and they are redirected to a different desk. Eric and Jeremy do like Ray and Yolanda and head for the information desk, and they also learn of the United flight. They run into Ray and Yolanda at the United counter, and both of these teams manage to finagle tickets. When BJ and Tyler get there, however, they are told that the flight is very full -- in fact, they are told that they can't get on. Oh, how I wish there was any chance that anything happening this early would make any difference. Despondent feelings arrived early during this episode.

When we return from a set of commercials, Ray and Yolanda and Eric and Jeremy are getting on their flight. BJ and Tyler are not. It leaves without them, which is very unusual, given that the commercials coming right after "You cannot get on the flight" are almost always accompanied by "Wait, four people just died, so their seats are available." They actually have to go to Thai airlines and get a flight leaving at 8:20. I know! Shocking. BJ notes that the advantage the other teams have is about an hour and a half. But they haven't given up! No, sir! And their ability to communicate in Japan will "excel [sic] our progress," as Tyler puts it. Stanford is filled with regret, I'll tell you that much. Phil explains that in Tokyo, the teams will find a hotel and drive themselves in marked cars to Shibuya, where they'll look for the big screen, as the Sidekick-bearing elephants of yore have decreed.

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Amazing Race

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