Amazing Race
5 Continents…10 Countries…And More than 59 Thousand Miles!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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And unicorns danced!

Eric and Jeremy collect a toll ticket and get on the highway, and when they see Mount Fuji, Jeremy refers to it as "Mount Tokyo." "Dumb-ass," Eric says, proving that he is the brains of the operation indeed, "it must be Mount Fuji." Of course, Tyler already knows it's Mount Fuji. For he is the happy hippie of love, and he observes the world around him! You must love him! He knows as much about Japan as...Eric! Love him! In Ray and Yolanda's car, they also know that it's Mount Fuji, and Ray is practicing asking directions by saying the word "Fujikyu" in about twelve different tones. Heh.

Eric and Jeremy pay the toll at the end of the highway, and then they stop to ask directions again. He offers to lead them right to it, and then Jeremy makes a borderline offensive, but probably weirdly valid, point when he says that he's learned that if you speak too slowly, people don't understand you. He seems to associate this with the fact that it sounds to him like people in Japan talk really fast, but I think it's probably true everywhere that the more you can pronounce things normally -- as opposed to, for instance, in a drawn-out way like people are stupid -- the more likely they are to understand you. It's really interesting, because Jeremy is one of those guys who is blessed with comic timing and very good delivery, but he's also an asshole, so that confuses me. Eric is less naturally funny, but more substantively worthy. It is a puzzlement.

As for BJ and Tyler, they are on their way, talking about how close they are to winning only a few meaningless tasks before it starts mattering what happens! Eric and Jeremy arrive at the amusement park and pull in, followed closely by BJ and Tyler. In fact, the teams enter the park together. "Those hippies, and their damn...language-knowing," says either Eric or Jeremy. (I still sometimes can't tell without a visual.) Both teams park, and both run to the nearby clue box. The clue is for a Roadblock that says, "Who's ready to coast through their day?" This Roadblock requires you to ride three roller coasters. Seriously, that's the whole thing. Officially, you have to keep your eyes open for a clue while you ride, but basically, it's riding three roller coasters. Note to show: It's not a very challenging "Roadblock" to test your resolve and your ability to triumph over adversity when average, ordinary, everyday, twelve-year-olds pay to do it. Good grief. Oh, and this is where Phil says "thrill rides." I hate this Roadblock. They send them all the way to Japan, and then put them in an environment as much like the middle of the Mall of America as possible. If Mount Fuji were the Build-A-Bear outlet, I would think it was the middle of the Mall of America.

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Amazing Race

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