Amazing Race
A Confederacy of Dunces

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"Panama is the gateway between North and South America," Phil informs us, when I always thought of it as the gateway between the Atlantic and the Pacific. I guess it depends on which direction you're going. Phil does remind us of the Canal, and a place near the capital city called Panama Viejo. Phil strolls among the ruins, telling us, "This historic settlement, built by the Spanish almost 500 years ago, is where teams will start the final leg in a race around the world." Phil sounds like he's keeping a straight face as he tells us that Jeremy and Sandy won the previous leg, so they'll be starting out first, at 12:04 AM. Well, why not, since these times are obviously randomly selected anyway.

Sandy opens the clue and reads, "'Fly your way to -- oh, no, we're going to Atlanta." They both seem pretty disgusted by this news. What do they have against the ATL, is what I want to know. Phil confirms for us that the final destination is Atlanta, Georgia. After they've landed, they'll have to get to a place called "FlightSafety International" (which seems like someplace you'd want to go before you got on a plane) to find their next clue. They run over to the waiting taxis, still upset about Atlanta for reasons we're about to discover. Jeremy reminds us this is the final three (although he leaves out the part that they probably shouldn't even be among them, and almost certainly wouldn't have been any other season), and Sandy adds that they have to be perfect this last leg. "We've got to continue to work together as a team." In other words, keep not yelling at me Jeremy. In the cab, they explain that both other teams have been to Atlanta and they haven't. "Marcus and Amani live in Atlanta," Sandy says, saying that gives them an advantage that she describes as "huge" five times. How embarrassing for Amani and Marcus if they don't win this now, right?

Ernie and Cindy are leaving at 12:05 AM, and aren't much happier about Atlanta than Jeremy and Sandy were. Before the leg starts, Cindy describes the race as "the ultimate premarital counseling" and says they've learned a lot about each other. I can see that; in married life, it's vital to know whether your spouse can cut it as a spelunker or as a dramatic interpreter of poetry. As they get in their cab, Cindy learns one more thing about Ernie, namely how funny he sounds telling the driver "International Aeropuerto." We hear them conclude that the race has been a bonding experience at almost the exact same time we're hearing Cindy laugh at Ernie, "Nerd!"

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Amazing Race

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