Amazing Race
A Confederacy of Dunces

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Gone with the "1"

After the ads, the instructor counts down from three and hits the reset button, which seems to restart the scenario at the point of final approach from 2,500 feet. Flaps twenty, gear down, one dot above, disengaging autopilot, etc. Marcus bounces off the runway and slews off to the right yet again. "That's all right, baby," Amani says with a patient smile. She's amazing. I'd be like, "Do you not have rudder pedals over there or what?"

One long, dizzying, high-speed helicopter shot across town later, we catch up with Jeremy and Sandy, who are still trying to figure out what The Dump is. They get off the freeway and find someone to ask while Cindy's talking into Ben's phone. The "local" (although he has a Yankee accent and is wearing a University of Akron t-shirt) tells them it's up near Buckhead and is a former Home Depot store on Peachtree or something. I don't know who Cindy's got on the phone, but she's explaining, "I'm sorry, we're just in a race and we're trying to find information from obscure clues." Jeremy and Sandy get back in their cab and head for Buckhead, just as Cindy is finding out that they're looking for Margaret Mitchell's home. She's getting the address, but Ben already knows where it is (it's on Peachtree). And Jeremy and Sandy are promising their driver a big tip, for bringing them to the wrong place.

Then there's a whole introspective sequence where the two teams talk about how close it is to the end while they ride in their cabs. Ernie says it would be one thing to lose to Andy and Tommy, but losing to one of the other two teams "would be like losing it to, like, my brother or something like that." Get me to Ernie's family's viewing party immediately. Sandy says she'll need a Prilosec when they get home. "We make it, you can afford all the Prilosec you want," Jeremy promises. Side effects of Prilosec may include severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); bone pain; chest pain; dark urine; fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat; fever, chills, or sore throat; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; severe diarrhea; severe stomach pain or cramps; swelling of the hands, ankles, or feet; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual tiredness; vision changes; yellowing of the eyes or skin (I figure if I have to recap a Prilosec plug I'd better cover my ass).

Cindy is extending Ernie's metaphor: "It'd be like losing it to the C student when we're an A+ student." Ernie says she's the A+" "I'm more like a B+ student. Maybe like a C." Feel free to stop him at any time there, Cindy.

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Amazing Race

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