Amazing Race

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Slumdog Would-Be Millionaires

Jaime and Cara are leaving at 12:30, which means that despite having a head start, Cara lost her footrace with Tammy at the end of the last leg by six minutes. As they battle the cold and the icy streets to find a cab, Cara interviews, "This Race highlights the differences between Jaime and myself." Which is an odd thing to say considering that the only reason I know it's Cara speaking is because she refers to the other one as Jaime. Cara claims to be easygoing, in contrast to Jaime's "Aggressivity, if that's even a word." Not according to spell check, it isn't. Is this Cara's way of telling us to quit blaming her every time Jaime acts like an asshole to a cab driver or task guide? Okay, I'll work on it, if one of you will go blonde for me. I don't even care which one. "We're looking forward to ditching these marshmallow-man jackets," Jaime says in the cab. Hey, whoa, did you see that? I think I'm starting to be able to tell them apart after all! Weird. I should probably take a week off.

Margie and Luke arrive at the airport, with Tammy and Victor not far behind. Victor bumps his head on the cab's tailgate getting their luggage out. How liberating!

Mel and Mike leave at 1:01 a.m. in fourth place. Mel solo-interviews that he's just trying to survive the Race -- literally. He adds that Mike could be yelling at him, but always seems to realize that Mel is doing his best. In the taxi with Mike, Mel remarks, "Russia's beginning to look a lot better when I start thinking about India and the frillions of people." Just as he says "Frillions," the cab gives a lurch that causes Mike's eyes to bug out in alarmed surprise. Perhaps there's now one fewer person in Siberia.

Mark and Michael really were right behind them at the Pit Stop, because they're leaving at 1:02. In opposite directions. That's the Stuntmen for you in a nutshell. "Mark, where you going? There's cabs right here," Michael duhs at his brother. "Oh, sweet," Mark says happily. Got to love his total incapacity for embarrassment. As they cab up, he interviews that their competition includes "three teams of girls that are all almost six feet tall, and here we are, we can stand on each other's shoulders and not reach six feet." He's exaggerating, but his point is that he thinks they can keep up, even with their short legs. Guys, it's not your foot speed that concerns me. It's the brain speed. "Maybe we can get a dot on our forehead while we're there," Mark adds in the cab. See?

At three ticket counters at the airport, the three lead teams are realizing that their departure time from here is irrelevant, since they'll all end up on the same flight to Jaipur in any case. I can even tell you who says it: it's Cara, being the easygoing one. I'm definitely getting better at this.

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Amazing Race

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