Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 991 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Can You Digue It?

Dan and Jordan are in a good mood as their boat sails cross the ocean; they worked well together, and as Dan says, "Everywhere you look, it's just crystal clear water." They interview, "We're in Africa, but like tropical beautiful, paradise Africa, which you never even knew existed." Does this still count as Africa? I guess it does in the sense that Hawaii is part of North America, or the Lone Islands are part of Narnia (just to frame it in terms Jordan can relate to). They kill some time on the boat by slapping each other's bare chests. Which is the gay one again?

Brent has decided to un-quit, so now they've back on their cart, riding back to the coconut grove. "I don't even want to play any more," Caite third-graders. "This is so stupid." She's fighting tears of frustration as Brent interviews about losing their hard-won lead and going back to where they've been stuck. "This is so unfair," she all but sobs. Oh, calm down. Either someone else will make the same mistake and you'll be find, or they won't and you didn't deserve that lead in the first place. Guess which one it turns out to be?

Louie and Michael finish loading their coconuts and get on their way. Carol and Brandy, meanwhile, are just now getting their skittish tortoise moving. But as soon as he's out, he turns to the side to get away from them. It looks pretty evil, snapping at that banana and possibly also Brandy's hand. Carol should be the one luring the tortoise; I get the sense that she's the one more accustomed to being snapped at.

Steve and Allie look to be in the ocean between islands when the captain hands them a clue and a diving mask. As they open the former, Phil talks about the Seychelles' history of shipwrecks, and how "treasure hunters are constantly trolling these waters in search of their next great find." Perched on the side of a boat, with a diving mask pushed up on his forehead, Phil says, "Now teams must head underwater, on their own search for a very different kind of treasure map." With that, he lowers the mask onto his face and flips backward into the ocean, which is maybe six to ten feet deep there. The camera follows him to a wooden crate full of glass bottles, tethered about halfway between the surface and the ocean floor. Bubbles come out of his mouth like he's trying to talk as the subtitles read, "One team member must find a submerged case of seven bottles...." Fortunately he runs out of air before the joke gets old, and he continues narrating in the normal way midsentence: "...figure out how to untie them, and then bring one of the seven bottles up to the surface." As we see hands busying themselves on the beach with the contents of a bottle, he continues, "With that completed, team members will work together to assemble a map." That's a pretty rough map, made out of what look like primitive Colorforms on a small leather sheet. "Once on shore, the map will lead them along a path to their most valued treasure." Which is Phil himself, of course! Oh, wait, he means the Pit Stop. The Pit Stop sign reads Praslin, Seychelles, in its latest effort to confuse us. "The last team to check in here," Phil warns, "may be eliminated." Or they may not. Phil has no idea. He'd tell you if he could, honest.

Amazing Race

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