Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Can You Digue It?

So here come Steve and Allie, and Steve wants to do Turtle Toddle, on the old tortoise and the hare logic. Not that there's a hare in the other option, but it doesn't matter to Steve: "I've never met an ox that I could trust, and turtles are cool, man." I'm not sure I've ever met an ox at all. But anyone who's seen Finding Nemo would have to agree on the second part of his statement.

When they reach the turtle lawn, there's a whole local music group and dance crew performing away, as there always seems to be this season. Steve shimmies back at them a little as he and Allie head to the tortoise paddock. They pick one out and open the chute to let him out, but they're off to a poor start; the tortoise isn't moving, and Steve drops what Allie keeps insistently referring to as "our one banana." But can't he get another banana? No, it's their "one banana!" Meanwhile, the brothers' helicopter lands, and Jordan lets Dan pick Ox. Sticking with the skill > luck concept, I see.

Louie and Michael are airborne. "That's what I'm talking about," Michael says of the scenery. Carol and Brandy take off in fifth place, followed by the Cowboys. Looks like you can't wear a helicopter headset with a cowboy hat, and they must not have been allowed to forgo the former. Cord says, "I'm not giving up till Phil tells us to leave." I wish that went without saying, but we've already seen two teams this season fail to do that.

Caite tosses a pair of coconuts onto the nearly-full cart, but one bounces of and hits the grass, in a suspiciously close-up shot. Of course neither of them notices it happening. I think I've said this before, but if I ever find myself on the Amazing Race, I'm going to watch my camera crews very carefully. While the ox-hand guides the ox into the traces and bridles him, Caite and Brent have plenty of time to check their area and make sure they got all the coconuts. But if they did that, they wouldn't be Brent and Caite, would they?

Allie is holding out half a banana, and the tortoise is now out of the pen, making its slow but determined way after it.

Brent and Caite set out, each of them holding one of the reins, which is like sharing the steering wheel of a car. Of course they're unaware that there's still a coconut on the ground behind them. There may not be any hares in this race, but there are certainly some hare-brains.

Allie still has that tortoise tearing across the lawn at top speed, which I would estimate at about 100 feet an hour. Hope he's got an airbag!

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Amazing Race




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