Amazing Race
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Can You Digue It?

Brent is trying to get Caite to keep her one rein taut, to keep the ox from crashing them into a tree and flipping them over. They call each other "dummy" and "frickin idiot." They might be kidding, but then they don't seem to enjoy it very much.

Allie gets their tortoise across the finish line, and rewards him with the rest of the banana. Afterward, the thirstiest man in the race interviews, "That's what her mom does to me, but it's usually maybe a beer or something." Now they have to run over to the rack hung with giant banana bunches and each grab one so they can head down the road to the fruit merchant. Which they do, while a split screen shows their backpacks still lying on the ground next to the turtle racecourse. Oops.

The brothers load coconuts. Meanwhile, Brent and Caite are trying to get their ox moving again, as it seems to have stopped for reasons known only to itself. Or possibly for the same reasons millions of viewers have, which is that they need to go. Steve and Allie, laden with bananas, walk right past them on the road. "This is what I was afraid of," Brent says. Allie interviews that it was a challenge to carry the bananas, and she got banana mush all over herself. She does look like Pac Man threw up on her. "This is what it's like, I guess, to have a two-year-old or something all day and lugging it around," she says. Steve remarks that would be a very large two-year-old. Indeed; her banana bunch is about the size of my five-year-old, except my five-year-old knows how to hang on and only throws up when he's on my bed.

Brent and Caite are moving again, but he's pissed at Steve and Allie's tortoise for being so speedy. Damn you, Steve and Allie's tortoise! You were never meant to experience the Doppler effect!

Dan and Jordan are just about done loading their cart, and interview about how they made sure they didn't lose any before moving on. Because that's what you're supposed to do.Louie and Michael land on La Digue in fourth place, and decide to go with Ox Trot. Up ahead , the brothers are getting situated on the seat of their full oxcart, which is very close to the back end of the ox. I normally wouldn't notice that, except for how Dan suddenly realizes in horror, "Oh, there's ____ coming out of his ___. Like right now. That is ___ gross." The pixels protect us from seeing it, but we certainly et to hear it. It's been quite the season for bovine excrescence, has it not? Usually it's that other show where I have to wade through this much bullshit.

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Amazing Race

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