Amazing Race
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Can You Digue It?

Meanwhile, Dan and Jordan are nearby in their own boat, opening their clue. "'Time to take a deep breath.' That's me," Jordan says. As he jumps in and strikes out for the buoy, Dan says he doesn't like swimming. "I mean, I can do it, and I'd be fine to do it, I just think Jordan's probably better at it. Confidence in my partner." Jordan dives, but can't get the bottle loose before he runs out of air. He comes up to breathe, and while Dan calls out encouragement, he snits, "You need to wait a second. It's really deep." "It says, 'time to take a deep breath,'" Dan chortles at us. Jordan narrates after the fact what we see, which is him going back down, getting the bottle free, and then dropping it. So now he has to go back down to get it, "actually on the bottom of the ocean floor," which is about four or five feet below the crate, as opposed to the Marianas Trench it might sound like if you weren't watching it at the same time. It's also fair to say that this is the closest they come to making a mistake this leg.

Brent and Caite's ox now has one driver, which is probably how it should be done. The meet the detectives coming the other way, which makes Michael wonder whether they failed to find the place. What would be worse than being lost in an oxcart? You get lost in a car, you can drive somewhere else fairly quickly, but in an oxcart you'd have plenty of time to get no less lost. As they pass the detectives, Caite and Brent explain how they didn't have enough coconuts in their cart. "Hopefully we didn't make the same mistake," Michael says, riding on the back with the cargo. When Brent and Caite get back, there's a local guide standing next to the poor abandoned coconut, pointing wordlessly down at it like a parking lot attendant indicating en empty spot. For a Matchbox car, that is. They retrieve it and turn around to leave again, with predictable bad grace. Meanwhile, Jet tells us as his and Cord's cart gets almost full that "I've driven a lot of things, I never drove and ox." But apparently their brother once had a buffalo. I think we've all had brothers who had buffaloes, haven't we?

Carol and Brandy arrive at the Ox Trot task just as Brent is getting his and Caite's ox moving again. Watching them go, Carol and Brandy mock them behind their backs for probably having screwed up. "Like, duh." Better hold off on those comments until you've completed the task yourself, ladies. Jet and Cord are done -- or so they think, even as a camera zooms in on a lone coconut they left behind. Their ox gets tied up, and Cord thinks to ask what the ox's name is (it's Red Bull), because the Cowboys realize that animals might have names even before they meet them. They're on their way, talking about how confident they are that they didn't drop any, even as the camera shoots their backs from a low angle -- right over the coconut they left behind, in fact. Behind them, Brandy realizes they're in last place. "Son of a bitch," Carol says, which I always imagine would be my most oft-used curse if I were on the race. If not my most oft-used phrase, period.

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Amazing Race

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