Well, all good things must come to an end, right? Right. So this week, once Hayden and Aaron have gotten the obligatory begging out of the way, the action moves from Corsica to Ethiopia, which Kendra is just sure is going to be poor people again, like, how tiresome, we just saw poor people! A Detour involves mud-slinging and roof-dragging, and then there is a critical donkey juncture (don't question it; just go with it) at which Jonathan and Victoria forget the thing about bringing two donkeys, and they only bring one. Yeah. I know. It's kind of too obvious, but the fact remains that Jonathan and Victoria are finally eliminated, after ruining only about two-thirds of the season for me personally. I'd say I hope they get counseling, but I really have to admit I don't care. In other news, El Hornio is getting nastier, Freddy is getting more psycho, and Kris and Jon? Smiling through, as usual. Oh, and it turns out that Ethiopian children are really nice. You know what causes that? Great breeding.
Credits. In the credits of my imagination, Don and MJ bare their teeth, which turn out to be pointy. Because you know what's funny? Vampire teeth you clean with Polident.
Commercials. Wow, now they're putting battery-powered fans in an air freshener. And to think I was wasting all this time, like, washing the dishes and bathing.
"NEEP-NEEP-NEEP-NEEP-NEEP!", the music frenetically wails as we return to the green and mountainous landscapes of Corsica. Look, it's Julie Andrews and seven small children! They sure walked a long way. Phil reminds us that the pit stop for the leg was theoretically an overlook high above a port city. Of course, the actual pit stop was likely at the Scenic Overlook Hilton Corsica, but there's no point reminding the audience that the racers can now take time out from their hard-charging racing schedule to order pastries and orange juice from room service. Also, Phil is wearing drab blue-green, and his hair looks funny. I'm getting really grumpy. At any rate, the teams have now experienced their mandatory rest period, and they're all ready to begin their optional bitching and arguing period, which they will just treat as mandatory. Hayden and Aaron, Phil reminds us, had to turn in all their money, and they won't be getting any more. And sadly, I think you know Hayden isn't hiding any in her bra, as women sometimes do, for the same reason you know Aaron isn't hiding any in his tall stovepipe hat. Phil wonders aloud whether Hayden and Aaron will rebound. Try not to envision Hayden bouncing off of anything when you hear the word "rebound," not that I don't totally understand. Because I do.
12:12 AM. Hornio. El Hornio, this morning, is sporting a white hood. And considering that he's pairing it with a black sleeveless shirt? Yeah. Not really feeling it. He looks like he just got in from his rap video, which he filmed on the Stairmaster at Bally's. They read the clue, which tells them to take a ferry to Nice. Phil explains that when they get there, they'll go to the city garden, where they'll find a statue with a clue next to it. And now...unnecessary zoom! As Hornio leaves the mat, Rebecca comments that she doesn't think ferries will be leaving in the middle of the night. This is probably, somehow, El Hornio's fault. Rebecca interviews that they have "great moments" in their relationship, but they have bad ones, too. In case you didn't notice. Where they want to "kill each other." And unless you're starring in some kind of a cop/quarry flick with homoerotic undertones, the love and the wanting to kill each other don't match up so well. They adjourn to the hotel, and when they're asked about the ferry, they learn that it leaves at 11:30 the next morning. Not surprising, of course. The Department of Race Planning wouldn't want to leave any possibility that anyone could fall behind and steal any of the suspense from the last ten minutes of the show that is intended to determine the entire course of the episode.