Amazing Race
Are There Instructions On Donkey-Handling?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Taking out the trash

2:03 AM, Nuance. Apparently, the amount of money for the leg is $143, and they count it and take off. Freddy explains that their "team chemistry" is great, except for the part where she tells him she won't tolerate the way he talks to her. And, you know, the part where he throws up and then eats it. Not that that really has much to do with team chemistry, but I really can't stop thinking about it. I see him; I think of soup. It's so sad, because I used to think about much more pleasant and dirty things. They, too, get the news that the ferry leaves at 11:30. I don't think I like Unshaven Freddy. Some boys are meant to be pretty, and when they go all scruffy, they look like they're in jail, where they are probably someone's bitch. I'm just saying -- unsettling.

2:13 AM. Lori and Booooooo-lo! For some reason, I am abruptly possessed by the need to pronounce their names inside my head like I'm a wrestling announcer. So now, all I can hear inside my head is, "Lori and Boooooo-lo!" Sigh. This is your brain on reality television. Any questions? Oh, and yes, Bolo refers to the city as "Nice," with the long "I." Indeed, it's the city so nice, they didn't actually name it Nice. In other news, Bolo has apparently been weighing himself surreptitiously, because he claims to have lost twenty pounds. And that's a lot on a guy that...you know, short. They jump on the hotel idea with the rest of the sheep, and they ask about the ferry schedule. And the ferry is leaving at eleeeeeven-thiiiiiiiirty! See? I can't stop doing it.

2:14 AM. Kris and Jon. If he would just get rid of the visor, you know? I really do hate the way those things make your head look like a planter. Wait, that's a joke I'm almost sure I've made before. Aaaand...yep. I did. You can tell my relationship with visors is long and bitter. Notably, the white letters on the captions say "Kris and John." Way to misspell one of your contestants' names, geniuses. Glad to know they've farmed out portions of post-production to a high-school audiovisual squad. Kris says, in one of those granola "interviews" that's more than obviously been assembled from a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a little bit of coconut, that she and Jon just try to stay focused on their own work and try not to be influenced by other teams. By the way, apropos of nothing, if you didn't get to see Kris hiss "Fuck!" on the Insider videos last week, you're just not living right.

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Amazing Race

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