Amazing Race
Are There Instructions On Donkey-Handling?

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Taking out the trash

In Nice, Spazpants goes off in search of a cab first. They are indeed the first to get one, and they clap their hands, because as you know, that makes a taxi go faster. Lori and Bolo get a cab, then Hornio, Nuance, Hayden and Aaron, and -- stuck behind and still cab-hunting -- Kris and Jon. I'm so very concerned about this tendency to fall behind at critical moments. I can't help thinking it's lying in wait for them at some brutally difficult point. Spazpants pulls up at the statue, and they pull a clue. Phil explains that it requires them to fly 4500 miles to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. There, they'll find a sign-up sheet for a couple of charters. So, to review: A twelve-hour wait for the ferry. Then an international super-flight. Then charters once you get there, just to make sure that everyone winds up bunched exactly as pre-planned. Could really be a half-hour show at this point. In fact, I'm not sure it couldn't be shown during the commercials of other shows. Anyway, their clues will be under the windshield wipers of the vans that will be waiting for them outside the airport, in the great tradition of ads for weight-loss products and ways to become rich on real estate without spending any of your own money. Spazpants takes off, debating whether or not to use a travel agent. Lori and Bolo arrive next, then Hornio. In the Hornio car, Rebecca starts talking about how hot and difficult the place will be, and El Hornio breaks in, saying, "Instead of rambling on about how bad, this and that, and your experience, can we deal with getting there first?" He's right, of course, that she is being ostentatiously thoughtful about the problems in Ethiopia, but he's also wrong, in that they've never seemed to be thwarted in their efforts to get anywhere by all the rambling. In other words, he should admit that he wants her to stop it because it's damn irritating, not because it hurts the team. The Model (?) Alliance gets clues.

In the Nuance cab, Kendra is unhappy. "It's Ethiopia. It's going to be depressing, and Third World. We just went to a Third World country," she says in exasperation, barely able to contain her disgust that she's being asked to go back to someplace poor when she's already done her duty of seeing life as others live it and would really rather return to seeing life as she sees it and has always seen it, thank you very much. Broadening her horizons makes her feel icky.

Finally, Kris and Jon get a cab, and in the cab, he's working on the driver, like, "Umm...we're...we're in a hurry..." Obviously, he hasn't received the memo about the importance of clapping and haranguing in international taxi behavior. They read their clue, and they head for a travel agency. It turns out that Spazpants is doing exactly the same thing with a different travel agent. Fortunately, the first travel agent that Jonathan sets out to berate tells him that he's out of luck, because she can't sign on to her computer at the moment. Boy, that is sad. I am so very filled with regret. In the cab, Jonathan cannot believe that Victoria made the travel agent's computer crash like that. "From now on, this is my part," he says, hoping that if he intervenes in time, she won't go screwing up the computers at the airport, too. She tries to tell him that he was scaring off the travel agent (probably true), but you can imagine how much he's listening.

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Amazing Race

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