"This sucks," says a snarkily edited Lance as he and Marshall get on the third train to St. Petersburg. One of them has the following to say about the current crop of "useless foreigners": "The Russians might be the most miserable people on this planet. They're angry-looking...the freezing cold temperature in St. Petersburg probably doesn't help them any." While that remark is obnoxious, it's also a little bit funny, particularly because it's edited with some really entertaining shots of grumpy-looking Russian people on the train. I don't think it's because they're Russian, because I will tell you that when it gets to be about 20 below in St. Paul, you will see some grumpy-ass people here, also. Extreme cold weather makes you mean. That's how I got this way. ["I spent my formative years north of North Dakota, and...word." -- Wing Chun]

Colin and Christie arrive at the Hermitage. Inside, Chip and Kim are approaching various people and asking them whether they know where the painting is. Chip walks by a couple of folks saying, "Return of the Prodigal Son? Return of the Prodigal Son?" And then it becomes a song: "Return of the Prodigal Soooon!" Hee. He is as cute as a fuzzy bunny, and he makes his wife laugh too. I sort of imagine people all over Russia going, "What is that nice couple doing with all those irritating jackasses?"

On the fourth train, Mirna (to her credit, bleh) asks a lady about Rembrandt's painting, and the lady tells her it will be located on the second floor. Wow. I can't imagine finding a lady on a train who can tell you the location of a specific painting in a museum. If you ran into me on a bus in Minneapolis, you would be lucky if I could tell you where the bus was going, even though I would, by definition, be on it. Of course, Mirna pronounces the name of the painting using the non-word "prodijal," but she's still ahead of Ronald Reagan, who (I am told) once famously used the non-word "paradijm."

Colin and Christie review a map of the museum and see where they think the painting should be. But when they get there and point at something, they're told that isn't it. Christie looks around, all, "The hell?" Yeah. The museum does tend to get kind of confusing. It's like the way Bruce Willis keeps walking by the same pinups in Die Hard -- maybe the painting is at the end of the exhaust vent. Start crawling.