Amazing Race
Are You Sure This Is Safe?

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
How egg-stremely satisfying

Commercials. Does CBS actually have such a tin ear that they haven't noticed yet that just as many people are sick to death of Rupert as are charmed by him? Must we continue being subjected to his obnoxious mug? Please, seriously, I can't stand it. And when did he start talking like a fucking wrestler?

When we return, the sound of Nicole's jangling nerves plays on the soundtrack as a Twinkie talks to Brandon. "We have cause to be upset, don't you think?" she asks. He agrees that they do, what with the breaking down in the middle of the trip and everything. Well, here come the guys with the gasoline can, looks like they got about a gallon. And with that load of people? On that vehicle? I'm sorry, but this entire thing is looking like one big fat scam to me. They also get told that they're going to have to pay twenty dollars for the gas. The hell? It takes the same amount of gas to get there whether the guy remembered to fill up ahead of time or not. That's another way you can tell they're getting ripped off -- there's no reason on earth why it would cost extra just because the guy didn't fill the tank before they left, if they agreed on a price to get where they're going. This is a flat-out scam, and I don't blame Brandon for his obvious discomfort, or for telling the guy he'll pay ten now and ten later.

Colin and Christie return their receipt to the store and get the clue sending them to a village called Kibaoni, where they'll need to find the Kavishe Hotel. There, they'll get another clue.

The Charla/Mirna/Moms bus has stopped now, although as they explain, it appears to be a "potty stop." And what does Linda yell to the guys? "Vamonos." Yeah. Not so much. I always remember Clown Al gently saying, "'Rapidito' doesn't mean 'fast' in every language," which was one of the most subtly funny things anybody has ever come up with on this show. I am reminded of it every time something like this happens. Once they get going again, their bus is overtaken by the Bus of Discontent, now loaded with fuel again. Brandon says that he hadn't even realized that those two teams had passed them, but he's very glad to have made up that ground again.

Chip and Kim return their receipt and thank their local help as they rip the clue. Off to the Kavishe Hotel. Speaking of which, Colin and Christie are already there, getting directions to the hotel.

Finally, the Bus of Discontent pulls into town and stops. Brandon and Nicole and the Twinkies get off the bus. They find the clue box, but as they head for it, they're stopped by the driver, who wants the other ten dollars Brandon agreed to pay him. Brandon says he's not coughing it up, because the bus broke down in the middle of the trip. The driver rejects this explanation. "No, we're not paying any more," Nicole says flatly. She opens the clue and tries to ignore the driver. As they read the clue, the driver stands right there and pokes Brandon in the shoulder several times. Nicole continues to insist that they're not paying any more, and as she and the driver argue, he half-swats her cheek with a piece of paper he's holding. "Don't hit me," she says, quite taken aback. Brandon tells Nicole that this whole thing is just slowing them down, and she asks what he wants her to do. He wants her to give the guy the ten dollars. "Ten more, ten more, I want ten more," the driver says. "You know what?" she says, reaching into the Amazing Purse. "Here's ten more," and she tosses the money on the ground, using one of the tricks she learned from the book, A Hundred Ways To Get Your Ass Kicked In Three Minutes Or Less. "Get it," she says. "You're a fool," the driver says, and Brandon leans over, picks up the money, and hands it to the guy. "Thank you," he says, anxious to defuse the situation as soon as possible. "No, I don't talk with you," the driver says as he leaves, suddenly all morally offended by having the money he scammed them out of thrown on the ground. Seriously, that's part of the "gas money," so I don't blame her for being upset, because that is a crock. When you negotiate the price at the beginning and the guy knows where you're asking to go, fuel costs are included. You don't pay more, as I said, just because the guy's tank wasn't full when you started, even assuming he was really out of gas. Which I kind of doubt.

"I just so wanted to get us out of that situation," Brandon interviews. "It felt dangerous, it felt unsafe." He and Nicole and KamiKarli read the clue and both decide on Busy. Apparently, everyone is afraid of bees. Or honey, which seems equally possible in our anti-carb atmosphere. Both of these teams hook up with locals once they get to the furniture store, so that seems to be the answer to the "addresses are hard to find" portion of the task. The Twinkies cooperate to push the cart, but Brandon is pretty much on his own, with a tired Nicole dragging behind. "Baby, I can't run. Don't run," she says.

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Amazing Race




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