Amazing Race
Are You Sure This Is Safe?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
How egg-stremely satisfying

Camp Colin heads to SwissAir to check out the options there. The best option they can get is a connection through Zurich (ack), arriving tomorrow. Camp Mirna, meanwhile, chooses to check with GulfAir. That guy comes through for them, and then Mirna goes to explain what they're doing. She's not explaining it to anyone except Linda and Karen and the cameras, so maybe someone can explain to me why she says, "We going Abu Dhabi, and then we going Nairobi, and we arriving Nairobi 6:30 AM." Can I ask when she lost her English-speaking ability? Or, what, is that supposed to be...cute? Because really...not. It's a version of baby talk, basically, and like all other baby talk, it's a bit sick-making. Mirna closes the blinds at GulfAir -- I'm sure the airline appreciates her making the office appear to be closed, by the way -- and she and Charla and Linda and Karen all decide to hide so that Colin won't see them through the windows.

Elsewhere, a Twinkie frets over where Camp Mirna has landed, and what tickets they're getting. Colin notes the GulfAir office, and notes that it's open, and he heads inside -- where he finds Mirna and Linda pressing themselves up against the side wall. Yeah, that was some darn effective subterfuge, there. When Colin walks over to talk to the airline guy, Mirna -- who, you'll recall, was really put out that Colin suggested that she couldn't talk to Bus Station Cleaning Guy while he was trying to have a conversation with him -- busts in and gets physically between Colin and the airline guy, instructing the airline guy not to help Colin. Now...the airline would listen to Mirna because...why, again? You're telling me she thinks the guy is going to skip selling sixteen last-minute, full-fare tickets because...she's so charming, and she told him to? He's going to say, "Boss, I know it cost us a hundred thousand dollars, but she called me 'habibi.' I had no defense"? It turns out that Mirna did have a more evolved plan, however. She proudly adds in an interview that she told the airline guy not to help them because they're violent. Which...yeah. You don't invoke security issues at an airport, as far as I'm concerned. You just do not. My line of Race ethics is pretty relaxed, and it leaves a pretty wide berth for doing a lot of things to get ahead of other teams, but you don't do something that has any potential to involve authorities or police -- especially if you're full of shit, which she is.

Outside, Christie tells a Twinkie that Mirna is telling them not to sell tickets to the rest of them. "Bitch," the Twinkie says. Certainly is quite a lot of that going around. And then we look over and can see through the door that a gloating Mirna is grinning and giving them the "shame, shame" gesture with her fingers. Charla joins in, making faces and taunting and showing off how hilarious it is to make fun of people -- unless it were her, of course, in which case making fun of people would be totally immoral. Charla goes on to crow about how much she's intimidating everyone, and how the other teams are "boiling" about it. Mirna then strolls out of the GulfAir office, making quite a display of waving her tickets and hooting and strutting. "You suck," she tosses off with a laugh at Nicole and a Twinkie, who are sitting on the ground not even doing anything. Charla joins in, showing off and kissing her ticket grandly. I think they officially know less about the critical topic of Your Ass, And The Things That Will Inevitably Bite You In It than anyone, ever. As Colin asks inside for GulfAir tickets, the Twinkies sit outside, and one whispers, "Colin's an idiot." Meanwhile, Charla and Mirna get on the GulfAir flight. Back outside the GulfAir office, a Twinkie says, "That Swiss decision was the stupidest decision any of us have ever made." Stupider than swimming to the pit stop? Stupider than throwing away the puzzle pieces? I have to say, I think she's being much too hard on herself about the "Swiss decision." She's made many stupider decisions than that. Tense music plays as Charla and Mirna gloat on the plane and Colin stews in the GulfAir office.

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Amazing Race




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