Amazing Race
I Feel Like I'm In the Circus

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Thai'ed Up

The snowboarders, meanwhile, are stuck in traffic, as is Team Pre-Owned. "We've gone one street block in twenty minutes," Sandy tells us from a state of stress-induced catatonia, while Justin just tries not to freak out: "Traffic sucks. It's awful." Bill & Cathi and Amani & Marcus don't seem to be having this problem, though, as they show up at the canal virtually simultaneously. They feed the fish and get their clues in second and third place respectively. Back to their cabs, where, after a quick cell phone conversation by a cabdriver or two, they're on their way again. "Forward ho," Bill says. Glad he stopped with the "chop-chop." Marcus tells us, "Hate to run this thing against Bill and Cathi, but we gotta do what we gotta do." Well, someone's going to beat Bill and Cathi eventually. Someone always does.

Laurence and Zac roll in on what the subtitles tell us is the "fourth bus to arrive," and they get a cab to Bangkok Noi. The twins arrive next, and get some directions from a blurry-faced woman in a uniform to go three blocks thataway. They head off, hoping it's in walking distance, since they have no money for cabs. "No munno, no funno," one of them says. They should copyright that. Then they'll have plenty of munno.

Ernie and Cindy are now stuck in traffic on a bridge, and are frustrated because they have no idea how far ahead they are, or if other teams took a better route. They decide to pay their driver and go the rest of the way on foot, hoping they're doing the right thing. So now it's more or less a three-way race between them, and the cab-riding grandparents with Team NFL right behind them. "They may look like Ma and Pa but they can run," Marcus tells us from his cab. "Don't let them fool you," Amani agrees. It's almost like they're preparing us to see them get beat by a couple in their sixties. Cindy, elsewhere in the city, is regretting getting out of their cab. The taxis of the other two teams split up as they approach the house. Both teams run in, cueing the suspenseful pre-arrival shots of the surroundings, then Phil pointing out an approaching team to a pretty young female greeter. And that team would be...Amani and Marcus. The greeter welcomes them to Bangkok, and Marcus calmly thanks her, and then Phil tells them they're team number one and they totally lose their shit, hugging and jumping up and down and screaming so loud that the greeter looks around nervously like they're all about to get kicked out. Bill and Cathi have showed up, and Phil invites them onto the mat, where the join the celebration as they're told that they're team number two. That's Bill and Cathi's best ranking yet, and probably the best they'll ever have. Team NFL wins a trip to Bali, and Marcus has won the opportunity to interview about how he and Amani are like an NFL team: "We sputter a little bit early, we start to get our momentum, I think we're a team to watch out for when it comes to playoff time." And if he loses the race, he just did a decent audition as a color commentator. A bit later, Ernie and Cindy finally make it in as team number three, and are way excited that they finished that high. And they still have their Express Pass, remember? I'm just not sure they still remember.

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Amazing Race

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