Amazing Race
Bavaria or Bolivia?

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Bavarian Creamed

At the ice arena, JJ is getting frustrated, what with being JJ and all, but on the fourth attempt we see, the gnome stoops halfway inside the bull's-eye. Turns out that's good enough to get a clue. They're still in first place and headed to the Pit Stop, which this week is a 200-year-old dairy farm called Lanhannes arm, complete with cows. Phil and the mat aren't in some airy pasture, but crammed into a cow barn in the narrow aisle between the smelly-looking stalls. Phil says the last team to check in there may be eliminated, but I'm sure it'll be far from the first time elimination has occurred inside this building.

Joey Fitness and Danny get to the arena, and soon Danny is sliding his gnome repeatedly across the ice, thinking that getting it into the larger blue circle is good enough, until he's told otherwise after succeeding in doing so. "Never thought we'd be curling gnomes today," he says. Then what did you expect, bro?

At Neuschwanstein Castle, Kerri is hurrying Stacy up the hill while, by contrast, Mark tells Bopper to slow down before he does himself an injury. The teams who went through the tour of the other castle show up at the right one, quickly find the bedroom and the clue, and are out of there in fourth and fifth place, respectively. Brendon and Rachel find it in sixth place, which sucks for them because they only got to see one castle today..

Up ahead, Danny gets part of his gnome into the bull's-eye, completing the task, and does a slide across the ice on his own ass with surprising grace. They're headed to the Pit /Stop in second place. Vanessa and Ralph arrive at the Roadblock, and Ralph takes this one. While Ralph takes off his coat, Vanessa says, "I'm mad at you but I love you. How's that?" Ralph just says, "I have a challenge to do right now," but Vanessa insists on a kiss. Sucks to be Ralph, right? Even better, he's getting pretty close to the target after just a couple of slides.

In the cow barn, Phil and a farmer wearing lederhosen under his tweed jacket are awaiting the first team. The door slides open for the camera, the cows all look our way, and in one of the least dramatic entrances ever, Art and JJ jog up the narrow aisle to the mat, gnome in Art's hand. The farmer welcomes them to Bavaria, and Phil tells them, "Once again you are team number one." They've won a trip to a resort in Thailand that looks a lot like the one in The Hangover Part II, which is from another repetitive travel series starring a charismatic guy named Phil. This Phil tells them it's their third win in a row, like they haven't been counting, and with a straight face he asks them to withdraw from the race to give other teams a chance. They laugh that they'll take him up on it if he writes the check right now. Which I'm sure they would. JJ Dwights that they won again, "because we dominate." He also says they now have a one-in-seven shot of winning the million dollars, which is actually the most humble thing I've heard him say.

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Amazing Race

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