Amazing Race
Be Safe and Don't Hit a Cow

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
So Near and Yet Safari

Max & Katie are still running around the fields in search of their car, which they find at last. Not that this puts an end to their bickering.

Bates & Anthony do manage to find a sign for Boro Village all by themselves, despite the rough road. There they drive up to a crowd of locals dancing and making music, as is totally common and spontaneous before eight in the morning, as well as a clue box next to the nearby riverbank. Inside the clue box is a Fast Forward and a Roadblock, and they obviously decide to go with the former. "Have some fun on the waters of the Okavango Delta!" it invites. They follow a sign marked "Fast Forward" that's right there, pointing them toward the riverbank. Where there is another sign reading, "Danger Crocodiles." I think that sign is more permanent.

Eventually they get to a hand-painted sign propped up among some tree roots saying, "Both of you must stay up on water skis together for over a mile to win the Fast Forward award." This gives them both serious pause, especially in light of the crocodiles. Bates remembers not being able to get up on skis last time he tried, but Anthony insists he can do it. So they hop into the waiting motorboat with its two-man crew and start getting geared up. Bates asks about the crocodile situation, and one of the boat guides assures him that he's fine; they checked last night. Bates doesn't seem entirely reassured by this, somehow being under the impression that crocodiles possess some magical power of locomotion that allows them to travel from not at a place to that same place over the course of one night, even if somebody briefly played a flashlight beam over the area at some point during that night.

Eventually the boat is in position, and they have their life jackets on, and Anthony has his teeth out, so they're all ready to go. They lower themselves into the cloudy water amid lots of shots of river crocodiles that may or may not have been taken anywhere near here or at the same time period or even in Africa. Shit, those could be alligators for all I know; I'm always asking my eight-year-old the difference but I never remember the answer. In an interview, the hockey brothers talk about how they couldn't see much in the water, and were aware of the prospect of crocodiles looking for a couple of Italian boys to make into their next meal. "Loves Italian sausage," Anthony says, which both of them regret almost immediately. They're both getting towed by the same boat, and this one must be more powerful than the last one Bates tried to ski behind, because they both pop up pretty quickly. Bates has some trouble balancing, rocking back and forth at the waist and almost getting tangled in Anthony's rope, but he keeps it together until he's upright and then sticks to that position. Only a mile to go, and the hard part's already over.

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Amazing Race

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