Bill and Joe complete the front-loader Roadblock. They're on the way, followed by Teri and Ian. Mirna mutters to Charla, "People are finishing, honey." "Look, I'M GONNA HANG!" Charla yells. She decides to dangle from the wrench in order to get more power, so of course, she falls to the ground. And the entire world laughs and tries to pretend it's coughing. Teri and Ian (whom she calls "Eye-an" for the first time this season, because she's a little peevish at the moment) have trouble locating the SUVs they're supposed to take, which is worrisome. They shouldn't need to give you a map to your car. Kevin and Drew finish with the bolts. They leave in seventh place. Dustin and Kandice are not happy about how this is going. Ian and Teri are confused, though, and they get in a taxi and ask to be taken to the entrance. That must have been one confused taxi driver. Mirna and Charla finally finish the task, probably by having Mirna stand directly on top of Charla's head. So now, it's David and Mary and the BQs fighting it out not to leave last. The BQs emerge victorious in this regard, so they leave ninth and Dave and Mary leave tenth. But actually, it turns out that the BQs are only eighth, because Ian and Teri are just now figuring out where the SUVs are, and they're leaving behind the BQs. Mary leans miserably on a tire, because her team is last, and she's actually not plucky; she's kind of a pouter. But don't tell Rosie O'Donnell, or she'll take back her bazillion dollars in free stuff.
Commercials. Actually, not commercials. Checking on the Oscars.
When we come back, Amber is all over the navigation, and she says that the clue makes it clear that you drive into the Valley of the Moon first, and that's how you get to the Valley of the Dead. Meanwhile, Danny contemplates his performance in the bolt task and says he "was a man in a previous life." That's one of those jokes where you wish they would put at the bottom, "Professional on closed course. Do not attempt." Because that joke ain't for amateurs. Mary, meanwhile, is using precious time to bitch and whine about being in last, while David tries to get the bolts tightened so they can leave. Finally, they get done, and they leave in last place.
Mirna gripes that "the beauty pageant people are following us." Mirna explains that she's paying a taxi driver all her money, apparently so she doesn't have to navigate for herself. She claims the BQs don't realize this, but we soon learn that they actually do. "If you think you're going to use me... I don't think so," Mirna says, going for "sassy" and winding up at "weak." Soon, the cab she's following pulls over. So Mirna and Charla stop, and Dustin and Kandice stop. Mirna and the driver start arguing, and Dustin walks up and says, "Mirna, if he tells you how to get there, we can listen, and we'll get there together." Mirna wants to know if Dustin is going to split the cost, since she's following. Dustin starts to talk about getting directions rather than paying the cab to lead them, but Mirna cuts her off and says that either Dustin and Kandice have to go off and leave now, or else they're all just going to sit here, or else they have to split the cost of the cab. Charla starts chiming in, repeating everything Mirna is saying as she's saying it. "What would you like to do?" Charla demands rudely. "DECIDE." At some point, Mirna and Charla appointed themselves persecuted victims, so they clearly feel entitled to (among many other things) yell at people whenever they want.