Amazing Race
Beauty Is Sometimes Skin Deep

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Mirna Goes-o Nutso

Commercials. Actually, not commercials. Checking on the Oscars.

When we come back, Amber is all over the navigation, and she says that the clue makes it clear that you drive into the Valley of the Moon first, and that's how you get to the Valley of the Dead. Meanwhile, Danny contemplates his performance in the bolt task and says he "was a man in a previous life." That's one of those jokes where you wish they would put at the bottom, "Professional on closed course. Do not attempt." Because that joke ain't for amateurs. Mary, meanwhile, is using precious time to bitch and whine about being in last, while David tries to get the bolts tightened so they can leave. Finally, they get done, and they leave in last place.

Mirna gripes that "the beauty pageant people are following us." Mirna explains that she's paying a taxi driver all her money, apparently so she doesn't have to navigate for herself. She claims the BQs don't realize this, but we soon learn that they actually do. "If you think you're going to use me... I don't think so," Mirna says, going for "sassy" and winding up at "weak." Soon, the cab she's following pulls over. So Mirna and Charla stop, and Dustin and Kandice stop. Mirna and the driver start arguing, and Dustin walks up and says, "Mirna, if he tells you how to get there, we can listen, and we'll get there together." Mirna wants to know if Dustin is going to split the cost, since she's following. Dustin starts to talk about getting directions rather than paying the cab to lead them, but Mirna cuts her off and says that either Dustin and Kandice have to go off and leave now, or else they're all just going to sit here, or else they have to split the cost of the cab. Charla starts chiming in, repeating everything Mirna is saying as she's saying it. "What would you like to do?" Charla demands rudely. "DECIDE." At some point, Mirna and Charla appointed themselves persecuted victims, so they clearly feel entitled to (among many other things) yell at people whenever they want.

When all this hollering and carrying on starts, Dustin sort of doesn't understand why this has escalated like this. She says, "Chill out a second. How much money are we talking about?" Mirna turns to the cab driver and says, thickly accented, "How much dollar you need?" He doesn't understand English if you use connecting words. He tells her he needs a hundred dollars. Dustin tells Mirna that rather than paying all that money, they should have the driver draw a map for them. Mirna kind of isn't tracking, and she's all, "He's not going to draw a map for you!", as if Dustin is asking to have the driver draw a free map for her, and the hell with Mirna and Charla. Dustin is obviously suggesting that on this trip, they don't need to pay a driver to lead them 70 miles on a straight highway. What they need is a map. Dustin's thinking is clearly pretty sound. But Mirna and Charla keep bitching and babbling, so finally, the BQs are like, "See ya, crazies," and they hop in their SUV and speed off. Because the difference between them and Charla and Mirna is that they don't need to follow. That's why Mirna had no bargaining power. The BQs thought the driver might be a good source of information without being paid to drive all the way to the pit stop, but they're okay going on without him. Mirna, on the other hand, is desperate to follow, because she has no confidence in her ability to navigate. In that sense, she had nothing to bargain with when she started freaking out about them following her. Dustin and Kandice were legitimately behind Charla and Mirna on the highway -- what are they to do other than follow? Was Mirna arguing their obligation was to pass? To turn around and go to the other way? What's her suggestion for them? There's only the one road, you know. When Mirna mutters about "freeloaders," it's silly, because they were actually trying to come up with a cooperative strategy that was mutually beneficial and transitory -- they were suggesting something better so that nobody had to go broke paying the driver. Of course, Mirna missed it, and decided that she was being victimized, probably because Charla is small.

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Amazing Race

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