Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 2 USERS: A+
Philimination, Where Is Thy Sting?

Sarah, meanwhile, appears to be under ten, as she's complaining about how the siblings spurned her attempt to make conversation, which, again, I'm not convinced they heard. Of course, Terence is egging her on as she says she needs to learn not to be nice to people. "This is not a popularity game," he declares, which would explain why they've done pretty well overall. "Sarah wants people to like her, and to be friends with her. I could care less if nobody speaks to me. I don't need friends." Well, that should work out well, then. Sarah, by the way, is just beaming at him adoringly, while the driver is like, "I didn't understand a word of that, but what a fucknozzle."

At 9:30, Aja and Ty, Team Divorce, and the Frat Boys leave Military Base with their clues and jog up the street to where they can find a cab. At one point Aja drops a water bottle and runs back to retrieve it while Ty carries both of their backpacks ahead. I hope these two aren't so used to long-distance dating that they lose track of each other. Kelly and Christy get their cab first, securing fifth place for themselves. The Frat Boys find their cab next, leaving Aja and Ty in seventh place to stress about how the final group is probably leaving Military Base now. Which, at 9:45, they are.

As Sarah and Terence zoom right past the next clue box in the church yard, Terence bitches at her for outrunning him. The running coach. Yells at the businesswoman. For running too fast. She abjectly apologizes, damn her. For a while I was hoping that this was going to be one of those relationships that ends the moment they step off the Philimination mat, but I can't even root for her any more. Nick/Starr and the Geeks are right behind them as they hit a dead end inside the church, then turn and find the clue behind them across the yard. Sarah gets there first, which I'm sure gets her in trouble with Terence later.

Time for the first Detour. We see worshippers climbing up a high staircase in front of a church on their hands and knees, right past Phil, who's standing over them addressing the camera. Seems a little disrespectful of him. But this is important, because we need to know that a Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. The choice this time? "Hard Way Up" or "Soft Way Down." Glad to see they're still giving the tasks names that sound like they came out of the menu at the Bunny Ranch. But even with the shot of the giant cargo net dangling high over the city, I know which one I'd pick. "Hard Way Up" requires teams to find the base of that stone staircase Phil's talking from, Escadaria do Passo. In addition to the supplicants crawling up, there's a small samba drum corps at the top, waiting to ask a "mystery question" of any team who chooses to ascend on their hands and knees. And if they get the question wrong, they have to start over. "Soft Way Down" sends teams to a towering outdoor elevator, and then requires them to climb 240 feet down the giant blue cargo net hanging therefrom. Unfortunately, it's hung too steep to slide, unless you want to break an ankle. Or Terence's.

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Amazing Race




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