Amazing Race
Can Horses Smell Fear?

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Pom-Pom And Bad Circumstance

Commercials. Some of these people look much too happy about eating fiber. I don't want to get too heavily into this whole area, but the eating of fiber, particularly in the eating itself, is not that awesome.

We are at the Great Wall Of China, where the Pensive Swaying Cameramen are pleased to show off the entire landscape, while the music says, "Welcome; it's pretty here." Phil explains that we are at one of the eastern gateways of the Wall, which was the first pit stop. Teams came here for the "mandatory rest period," they have no idea what's going to happen, and so forth. He wonders whether Peter and Sarah will do well now that her leg is "in disrepair," and whether Dave and Mary can get their asses out of last place in spite of having almost no travel experience. Maybe there will be a coal-mining task. That would rule.

9:04 PM. Tyler and James. They rip their clue and read, "You are headed to Outer Mongolia." What I love about that sentence is how much it sounds like a threat from a cigar-chomping boss in a movie. "You don't get this report done on time, Jones, and you are headed to our branch office in OUTER MONGOLIA!" Jason Robards, I'm saying, could read the shit out of this clue. Phil explains that this involves a 963-mile trip by bus and train (ugh) to what he refers to as Outer Mongolia's "barren landscape." (Outer Mongolia: "Same to you, kiwi.") Once they get there, they'll get themselves to a temple where they will observe a ceremony and snag a clue. As James and Tyler leave the mat, they discuss how it's "icing on the cake" to be doing the race "in sobriety." As opposed to high, apparently. I will admit that "Stoned Right Now" would make an interesting caption for a team. Or it could be part of a caption. "Friends/Stoned Right Now." "Mother & Daughter/Drunk." "Separated/High." Tyler goes on to make some weird analogy about racing and knowing that you've already visited "the streets and the gutters," and it is when he tries to be a poet that he begins to lose me. Don't stretch, Tyler. They arrive at a little office and find a sign-up sheet for buses, the first of which is leaving at midnight. They enter their names.

9:17 PM. Duke and Lauren. They're only 13 minutes behind the boys, and considering that those teams arrived at the ropes at the same time, I'm pretty impressed that the combination of Duke and Lauren only took 13 more minutes on that climb than the combination of Tyler and James. "I can accept gays and lesbians, but when it's my daughter, you think of it a little differently," Duke says. Some of the EEFPs have made a comparison to Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? with Duke, which I think is probably about right. I don't think he thinks of himself as a prejudiced guy, and I think he's embarrassed to discover that he is one. It's depressing that this had to come between them, but as noted last week, all props to them both for trying. She says in an interview that she basically wants him to "see beyond [her] being gay," which is kind of the whole thing. It's not like anything about her that he loved before is less true because she's gay. They get to the bus office and sign up for the same bus as the Addicts (And Models!).

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Amazing Race

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