Amazing Race

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Champagne-ful

Jeff finds his bottle. Outside the door, with six champagne corks from the previous teams lined up on a low garden wall, he cuts off his own, and then steals a drink like a kid with a garden hose before pouring the rest out on the pavement. They're off in last place, but at least one racer actually got to taste some champagne today. Assuming that isn't just Canada Dry in there, of course.

Steve is still trying to bend the fender away from the wheel, but getting nowhere. Allie thinks they need a new car. That's enough to trigger a commercial break, even if Maria and Tiffany learned last season that wrecking your car isn't nearly the catastrophe it used to be.

After the ads, Steve's still trying to rip the piece free with brute force. He suddenly remembers there's duct tape in his bag, and she digs out a small roll. Somehow he gets the piece taped back in something approximating "place," and as they drive off with a newly quiet wheel, Steve tells us, "Duct tape. My wife, before we left, threw it in there, says you can fix anything with duct tape. Well, honey, we'll see." Yes, the merits of duct tape have been debated for generations, but I always thought husbands and wives were on opposite sides of the divide than Steve and Mrs. Steve. At least in our house, Trash has doubts about my theory that if it can't be done with duct tape, it can't be done.

Brent and Caite are trying to get directions to Taittinger, and are getting nowhere. But Jordan and Jeff are at the Office de Tourisme (a different one, because apparently there are a lot of them) and getting sent to Reims. That's it, they're done. They just don't know it yet.

Back at the correct Taittinger, Louie is saying that they'll continue their grid search after they reach the end of the row they're on. "Oh, I don't think we're going to have to continue for long, my brother," Michael says cheerfully. "Eagle-Eye Mike found the grapes, baby." He detaches them from a post and kisses them, and as they walk back to the winery, he boasts, "If I can find crack in someone's rear end, I can find grapes in a vineyard." I hope he doesn't kiss that too. They bring them to the harvest foreman as instructed in the clue, and are in first place as Phil says, "Teams must now make their way across the city to L'Orcaa, the cultural administration for Champagne, France." Whatever that means. It's the Pit Stop, in any case. The last team to check in maybe eliminated, but it's looking like Michael and Louie are about to win their third leg in a row. Don't call it a comeback; they weren't here to begin with at the start of the race.

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Amazing Race

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