Amazing Race

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Champagne-ful

Driving through Reims, Brent and Caite have found a square and a statue, but it's the wrong one of both. That doesn't stop them from getting out for a closer examination. Caite thinks it's the right statue because of the animals, which is the first sign that this is going to be another stellar endorsement for public education in the Carolinas. Brent thinks the female figure to one side is Joan of Arc. "Joan of Arc was a guy," Caite points out condescendingly. Brent disagrees, pointing out that her name is, after all, Joan. "Okay, never mind, just kidding, thinking of somebody else," Caite mutters unconvincingly. Which is much less attractive than Jordan laughing at herself for the same mistake. Moments like this is why I don't often rely on cheap references to her famous rhetorical faceplant during her pageant; it turns out I don't need to. When they reach the statue's plinth, Caite observes, "I don't hear anything. I don't think this is right." I guess I have to give her credit for being right about being wrong.

Louie finds his bottle, and nearly trips starting up the stairs. Behind him, Steve reaches the bottles and starts chanting at them, "You are here, here, here, bad, bad, bad," whatever that means. Louie reaches the surface, out of breath from the equivalent of ten flights of stairs, and gets handed his bottle and saber. He slashes the top off, spattering the camera lens, and now the screen has drops of liquid on it as well as the subtitle that they're currently in second place. If they could get the former to spell out the latter, that would be awesome. Louie has a little trouble getting his "sausage fingers," as Michael calls them, into the tube to remove the clue. He gets it eventually, though.

Jordan and Jeff are in Reims. That is all for now.

Brent and Caite are wondering about their next move. Brent suggests asking some people, and Caite sighs, "No." So Brent sticks the clue in her hand and says, "Here, you seem to have one of those attitudes right now." That commences a whole argument about which of them actually has attitude, which is always a good sign that only one person is guilty of it. They go into a bank to ask directions and the teller is able to point to the cathedral spires that are visible a few blocks away. But even this doesn't make peace between them, as they get back into the car and start arguing about whether he moved his seat back to crowd her while she sits in back. You know, a big part of the problem with the "family edition" is that nobody wanted to see children running the Amazing Race. That's still the case.

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Amazing Race

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