Amazing Race

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Steve continues his search, which he unsurprisingly describes as "Not as much fun as drinking it." He makes his find, and then gets the bottle open on the second slash. They're off in third place.

The arriving Carol and Brandy spot Steve and Allie coming back up the narrow street. After they get to he winery and open their clue in fourth place, Carol tells Brandy, "Go ahead." Annoyed, Brandy reads the clue and says, "Somehow I get all the height things." But this is a depth thing! Totally opposite! Carol tries to convince her she'll have fun as she's lowered complaining into the hole. Up top, Carol optimistically tells us, "Hopefully she finds it quickly and gets back up the stairs and hopefully she's not in a piss-ass mood when she comes back up here." Well, anything's possible. Brandy actually is in a decent mood when she and her tandem guide alight down below, and she begins her search.

Dan and Jordan find a travel agency and ask the attractive young brunette behind the counter to show them on their tourist map where to go. Michael and Louie are doing the same thing, but at a hotel. The concierge or whatever tells them it's in Pierry. More specifically, "Pierry, Pierry, Pierry." Let's hope that the Detectives go to the right one of the three. Meanwhile, the brothers' helper is sending them back to Reims. Uh-oh. Michael and Louie actually get a guy to agree to lead them to the right place, which of course falls right into their ever-expanding skill set. "We are police officers, we are professional car followers," Louie says as Michael pulls out behind their new benefactor's Porsche. The brothers are also leaving, happy with their directions and the cutie who provided them. "I think if you find a good-looking person who can give you directions it just doesn't hurt," Jordan says, apparently in all seriousness. I say it's better to ask an ugly person, because they're more likely to have to have gotten to other places themselves rather than having smitten admirers drive them there.

Brent and Caite have found the right cathedral, and get their clue from the saw lady. Unfortunately, theirs doesn't say, "Break up immediately."

Using her headlamp in the gloom of the catacombs, Brandy finds a marked bottle. Up on the surface, after she slashes her bottle open, she and Carol get their clue in fourth place.

Steve and Allie ask a guy for directions, and they too are sent back to Reims. But Carol and Brandy are getting directions to Pierry, so it's a good week to be a lesbian or a detective. If there were a team of lesbian detectives, they would get the million dollars right now. Jet and Cord reach Leclerc Briant in fifth place. "I wonder if everybody's been here and gone," Jet says, when in fact they're only in fifth place. This being another rope task, Cord is going, telling us he doesn't know about rappelling, but is "fixing to find out, I guess." Yes, he'll be an expert after this. He gets lowered down with the bearded guy as Jet settles down to wait up top, next to a table with four slashed-off champagne bottles lined up on it. Dude, between those deadly weapons waiting to impale the face of anyone who trips and the gaping, hundred-foot-deep mineshaft in the middle of the floor, this is becoming the most dangerous workplace ever. "We have not had a very good morning," Jet understates. He quickly counts the bottles, does a little math, and realizes they're in fifth place. "That's not good, we started out in third," he grimaces. I'd argue that losing only two spots after going to the wrong city is better than they deserve. Unless of course you take intro account which teams are still behind them. Down below, Cord reaches the end of the cord and begins his search. I'm hoping Jet gets more chances to do roadblocks that have to do with airplanes, black stone, and magazines aimed at the African-American community.

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Amazing Race




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