Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Again with the racing

Chris and Amanda take off on the hike, just as Millie and Chuck stumble down the mountain -- led by the hard-charging Millie, who crawls the last few feet -- to the clue box. Elsewhere, Steve and Josh do the zip line, and then check the box. Bringing up the rear in their group, Steve and Dave are just approaching the cable bridge.

Meanwhile, here comes Bus #2, streaking along a street in the snowy mountains. Finally, creepy piano music takes us to Bus #3, the Bus of Doom. IndianaSteve calls it "the broom bus," sweeping up everybody who's left. Heh. It's funny 'cause it's true. He knows that this bus is carrying whoever will be Philiminated on this leg. Which is why it's a shame that it doesn't contain Josh. The music suggests that that bus is about to be attacked by zombies, but that seems unlikely.

Dave and Steve make their way across the bridge. Dave has put his helmet on over his air traffic controller baseball cap, so I'm not sure the helmet is going to do him a lot of good if he runs into trouble, but considering that they're about eight zillion feet above the bottom of the canyon, the only thing that's going to be of much use to you in this situation is a generous life insurance policy and a close personal relationship with whatever higher power you believe in. Once again, we are treated to a Dave voice-over about how overmatched the two of them are by the younger, fitter, and just plain better competitors. Okay. I get it. Really. Man, this is like Groanies II: Dude, Where's My Cartilage? They also talk about how important it is for them not to fall behind, blah blah blah. Enough.

Commercials. Stop arguing with your kids and give them Toastables for breakfast. They're probably not getting the RDA of icing anyway.

Back at the mountain, Steve and Dave are ready for the zip line. Zzzzzip! Elsewhere, Bus #2 pulls into Cortina. They all check the clue and take off. Monica and Sheree, however, take an interest in the Fast Forward. I'm sorry, what? Why on earth would you blow your Fast Forward when you know that there are four teams that are at least two hours behind you?

Oh -- do you know what a Fast Forward is? Well, it's a special clue that all the teams get, and if they choose to follow it and they're the first to complete it, then they can jump right to the end of the leg. However, they can only use it once during the entire race, so, as Phil always says, they have to decide "when it's most advantageous to go for it." In this leg's Fast Forward, you find a snowfield, don snowshoes, and hike up to the top of a hill. I would also point out that this Fast Forward is inherently, structurally bad, in that they're not receiving it until fairly close to the end of the leg. The best Fast Forwards are ones that they give out at the beginning, and that let you skip a lot of tasks and preferably some traveling. This one? Basically won't save them anything except the actual time for the Detour, minus whatever the snowshoe hike requires. It's actually very similar to the crap-ass Fast Forward Esquire took that came near the end of the first leg ever. In short, taking this option is a transparently bad decision, especially if you're comfortably in the middle of the pack. It hasn't historically been an especially important thing to play your FF wisely, but this is playing it badly, for sure.

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Amazing Race

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