Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Again with the racing

The Crazy Music Of Crisis accompanies us back to the mountain, which Dave and AirSteve are continuing to make their way up. AirSteve has taken to making little stairs in the snow for Dave to walk up, because that's easier for him than walking in the snow. I haven't made my mind up about the team yet, but it's a good race moment as Steve makes a step, and then another one, and then another one. He says they're not giving up. Take that, Miss Flo and other notorious quitters. Eventually, AirSteve gets Dave up the hill. "I owe you, man," Dave says. Fairly obviously angling for airtime, Dave solemnly says, "I wouldn't run this race with anyone but you, man. Nobody but you."

Kelly and Jon make it to the Detour flag. They're all over the cable bridge, which Jon navigates without difficulty. Kelly is right behind him. She calls herself "high-strung," and claims that Jon has "a calming effect" on her. "He just knows how to handle me," she says. Which is on the one hand a squicky thing to say, and on the other hand, a thing I have said. Like, in those words. And I know what I meant by it, and I'm assuming that's what she means by it, so it's not quite so bothersome.

Just behind Kelly and BuffJon are Al and ClownJon, who unsurprisingly elect the bridge and zip line, both of which are sort of circus events anyway. They do appear to be very speedy on the cable bridge.

Meanwhile, at the pit stop, Monica and Sheree have parlayed their Fast Forward into a fourth-place finish from what would undoubtedly have been somewhere between a fifth- and an eighth-place finish. Yeah, I'm just thinking that's not worth it. They try to look happy about being fourth. They say they're not going to second-guess their decision now, which sort of means they already are, but...probably wise not to dwell on it. Monica says she's just happy to be in the "top half." Oy.

Kelly makes a very funny face as she watches BuffJon prepare for the zip line. He seems to enjoy it, and although she doesn't look too pleased about it, she's up for it anyway. After a moment of crying, she takes off. Unfortunately, in an interview, she compares the zip line to marriage, because they're both "leaps of faith." I'm not sure how well that analogy holds up, but whatever. Jon questions her zip line/marriage comparison, but seems happy that she finished the task. Unsurprisingly, one of the clowns comes up with a Tarzan yell during the zip line. Where's that hook I asked for? Can I get that overnighted?

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Amazing Race

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