Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 516 USERS: C+
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Barbarians at the gate

2:57 AM. DadSteve and Josh. The clue tells them to get to an airport and fly themselves to Paris. Josh marble-mouths the rest of the clue, so Phil steps in to clarify that once they get to France, they are not actually going to "frrnmmp rrlmmgrrnnph," but instead will travel to Le Mans and visit the racetrack there to get their next clue. "You have $440 for this leg of the race," Josh reads. Boy, if they keep handing out this much money, the biggest threat to good racing is going to be bandit encounters, followed by blisters resulting from stuffing your socks with crisp new twenties. As Josh and DadSteve get into their taxi, they bicker about whether to take the taxi all the way to Salzburg to the airport, or to take the taxi to the train station and then get a train to Salzburg. DadSteve wants to take the taxi the whole way, but Josh insists that because it's eighty kilometers to Salzburg, they should take the train. Thus does Josh become Guy Who Woefully Misapprehends The Race. Josh insists to his dad that everyone else will take the train, but even if this were so, you might still want to get the cab -- the better to get out ahead of the slackers. Unfortunately, being imbued with about as much wisdom as the guy who green-lighted From Justin To Kelly doesn't stop Josh from snapping at his dad that they're going to the train station, dammit. DadSteve gives in, so we next see them arriving at the deserted Attnang train station. Josh despairs -- overly optimistically, as it turns out -- that the teams will soon be "bunched up" (shout-out!) at the train station, while his dad continues to mutter that he's not sure the train station was such a great idea.

3:51 AM. Monica and Sheree. I know this will surprise you, but Monica reveals that they are both married to professional athletes. "When we travel, people take care of us," she says. She says that they're learning to take care of themselves and each other. That's good, I suppose. But I get it, about their husbands. Really. Get it. If I ever accidentally state that their husbands are plumbers or mimes, you may all feel free to correct me. Until then? Consider it gotten. (Actually, "Mimes' Wives" would make a great team. They'd be watching some guy gesticulating wildly while trying to give directions in French, and they'd be all, "What is that? Is that 'walking against the wind'?") When they grab their cab, they tell the driver that they want the taxi to take them straight to the Salzburg airport. In the cab, they hug and squeal happily about going to Paris. Aw, they can buy souvenirs for their husbands, like t-shirts that say "French Accountants Do It By The Numbers." Wait, they didn't say their husbands were accountants?

Amazing Race

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