Amazing Race
Check Your Tires Because…Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Barbarians at the gate

When David and Jeff arrive, however, they decide that they're going to stay right by the gate, and they actually park directly in front of it where Chip and Reichen were initially turned away. Monica and Sheree pull in just behind them.

DadSteve and Josh, meanwhile, continue the long trek across France, as do Kelly and BuffJon and Dave and AirSteve. I have to say, AirSteve looks pretty damn close to deceased for a guy who's driving. I think if I were in the passenger seat, I'd move the rearview mirror as close to his mouth as possible so I would notice if it stopped fogging up. AirSteve and Dave manage to make it to the Marseilles line in third place, having not only beaten BuffJon and Kelly, but passed the International Society of Clowns and Virgins (motto: "A little song, a little dance, nothing but seltzer down your pants") and DadSteve and Josh. With three cars now in front of the gate, the security guy reappears to deliver the news that they can't park there. He will allow them, however, to park on the shoulder of the exit ramp that leads to the port. See? That's much closer to what you do in this situation. DadSteve and Josh and the ISCV soon follow, so there's a line of six cars sitting on the shoulder. Kelly and Jon are still missing at this point.

The next morning (oooh, time-lapse!), Tian and Jaree arrive from the hotel at the port gate. They are informed that there are now too many cars in the line on the shoulder, so they should go park and wait right by the gate, since it will be opening before long. Back in line, Jeff comments that "Tian and Jaree somehow feel privileged" to "pull up at the last minute" and jump in front of the line. Of course, he doesn't know at this point that this is what the guy told them to do. At the Tian/Jaree car, Jaree is concerned that that they're butting in line, and Tian insists that they aren't. Chip and Reichen arrive next, and they immediately say that they're not waiting in line, and they drive up to the gate and talk to Tian, who tells them that she's just doing what she was told, "and if it happens to give [her] an advantage, so be it." Monica, meanwhile, looks on, muttering that you can't come up to the front after you spent the night in a hotel and expect to "lollygag" ahead of these people who spent the night sleeping wedged into their cars. Jeff proposes a gang attack on the Tian/Jaree/Chipster group, so everyone climbs out and goes up to talk to them.

Dave asks them whether they really intend to park there, because he apparently doesn't believe in butting in line at all, unless he's the one doing it. God, I hate that. Tian repeats to Dave that this is where the guy told her to park, and Dave repeats to her that he just wants to know whether she intends to stay there. Well, of course she does, dummy. "Right there is where the line is," Dave says, pointing to the cars on the shoulder. Like she cares. That "line" has no legitimacy whatsoever. Chip takes the approach of telling Dave that he "doesn't know" whether he and Reichen are staying butted in "line" or going back to accept a spot in the "line." As he walks away from them, AirSteve tells the Chipsters and Tian and Jaree to "check [their] tires" because "you never know what'll happen." You know, when I saw that on the preview, I thought he was joking, and I still think he never intended to slash their tires, but he certainly wasn't joking. He's very much pissed off, and I don't think snarling something like that as a manifestation of your anger is a very good idea.

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Amazing Race




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