Amazing Race
Check Your Tires Because…Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Barbarians at the gate

The Chipsters are on a winding road, and are reviewing the clue, which says to drive to a "marked parking lot." Chip decides that a little red-and-yellow flag next to the road is what they're looking for, despite the fact that there is absolutely no parking lot. It looks like they're literally parked along the road, in a way that they'd have to put their hazard lights on. David and Jeff, on the other hand, have found the marked parking lot and parked their car. Of course, it can't last, this being-in-the-right-place thing that David and Jeff are doing.

Kelly and BuffJon find the lot next. "That's gotta be it," he says. Kelly spots David and Jeff, calling them "the goats." Presumably because of the facial hair, although it might be that she can't remember their names either. Just behind are Al and ClownJon, who have shaken the virgins but good.

Chip and Reichen go hopping down a steep path that leads away from the road near the spot where they parked their car. "That's not a parking lot," Reichen protests, but Chip doesn't listen. Chip has determined that a path next to a flag is good enough for him, parking lot or no parking lot, so that's what they're doing. They walk. And they walk. And they walk.

Josh and DadSteve have apparently gotten going in the wrong direction, because DadSteve is encouraging Josh -- who's driving -- to find a way to "loop around." Josh, exasperated, insists that they can't make a U-turn because of the metal barricade across the median. I understand what he's saying, but I "loop around" on highways all the time, and it doesn't require a U-turn. You get off the road and get back on. Josh, however, insists that it's not possible. Josh has this season's first documented case of Killer Fatigue.

Reichen and Chip have now gone so far down The Path of Not! that they're crossing a little stream. Maybe they'll get out some sandwiches and have a picnic. It's a pleasant enough place for a wild goose chase.

At the end of the actual correct path, David and Jeff are the first to open the clue. Predictably, this is the Detour. A still white-sweatered Phil explains the concept of the Detour, and then tells us that this week's choice is Ropes or Slopes. A classic Reckless/Chicken, this Detour involves either a rappel down a cliff or a very long and winding hike. David and Jeff, the clowns, and Kelly and BuffJon all quickly choose Ropes. Jeff rappels. Jon rappels. Interestingly enough, he calls it "scary," which surprises me, coming from a guy who serves as a professional projectile in his normal life. David rappels. Al rappels, asking Jon to please shut it with the advice. Kelly rappels, looking down just as she voices over about how you shouldn't look down. Jon rappels.

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Amazing Race




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