Amazing Race
Check Your Tires Because…Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Barbarians at the gate

David and Jeff, repeating a pattern that's becoming a little familiar for them, run right past the clue box and continue down the hill farther than they need to. The camera actually pans from them running down the hill over to the clue box they just missed. Nice. Al and ClownJon originally miss the box as well, but only by a little, and they catch the mistake immediately. As they pull the clue, Phil explains that it directs them to hike back up to their cars, then drive to the pit stop, which is a mansion about 150 miles away called the Chateau des Alpilles. As Phil explains, the last one to the mat gets the boot. The Amazing Mat looks very menacing this week, accompanied as it is by the rumbling and crashing of The Philimination Timpani.

Al and ClownJon scamper away from the clue box just as BuffJon and Kelly approach. I think they actually reuse the previous footage here of David and Jeff cluelessly missing the box, because I don't think they missed it twice. If they did, I think that would make this the biggest week for pure idiocy in race history.

Elsewhere, Chip and Reichen continue to sink deep into the heart of the forest. Hee hee. Chip starts to ask Reichen what he wants to do. Does he want to go back up? "No! I don't want to run back up," Reichen says in disgust, as if now that they've committed to this trail, they are going to follow it for the rest of their lives, even if it never leads anywhere and they are never seen again and their cameramen eventually desert them and they turn into bleached bones and wind up making a tasty meal for a French bear.

In fourth place are Chuck and Millie, while in fifth place are Monica and Sheree, who slipped a little in the navigation here. Both of these teams choose Ropes when they reach the Detour.

Chip and Reichen continue debating. Chip is desperately trying to get Reichen to make the decision to turn back, but when Reichen won't, Chip eventually says, "Let's go back up, let's not waste any more time." It's a hard life for a Chipster.

Commercials. Okay, seriously? Dove shampoo is really good. I'm just saying. Just an opinion from me to you.

Chuck is rappelling, while at the bottom, Millie yells up, "Chuck! What's taking so long?" Seriously, Millie, shut up. Shut. Up. That is not cute, it is not funny, and it is not spunky. It is rude and unsupportive, and I'm beginning to think your boyfriend is just plain too good for you.

Chip and Reichen finally turn back and walk up toward their car. Reichen stomps, fumes, and generally makes it known how incredibly put out he is. Chip, having learned the wrong lesson entirely, voices over that what he got from this experience was that he should always stop and listen to Reichen, whose instincts are "usually right." Yeah, his instincts did you a fat lot of good with those business class tickets. The issue isn't consulting Reichen -- the issue is reading the damn clue, which these guys have failed to do repeatedly now.

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Amazing Race

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