Amazing Race
Check Your Tires Because…Oh God, You Never Know What'll Happen!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Barbarians at the gate

DadSteve and Josh remain at the isolated train station, where they lean on a wall dejectedly. DadSteve is realizing that the other teams obviously aren't coming. He tries to say this to Josh, who continues to flatly insist that the other teams will show up at the train station. DadSteve tells him he's "really wrong on this one," and teases him about being "Little McScrooge" with the money. What he means to say, of course, is something more like "Scrooge McJosh," but one can't necessarily be expected to have one's Disney duck references in a row at 4:00 in the morning. "When everybody else gets here, you'll understand," Josh insists, digging into the ground with his toe in a manner that belies his claims of confidence, "and I won't hear a word from you." Wow, if only we had information regarding what it is that pride goeth before, we would know what lies ahead for Josh. The suspense is killing me.

Monica and Sheree and the Chipsters arrive at the Salzburg airport. They discuss a 6:35 flight to Frankfurt. Meanwhile, outside, Tian and Jaree de-cab and head inside. Jaree greets the other teams cheerfully, because she's apparently the social director for her increasingly abrasive, unfriendly partner. And you know you have problems getting along with others when a girl who was putting her fingers in her ears and going "la la la" last week is your goodwill ambassador.

Back at the Attnang station, Josh and DadSteve board the train. "Do you see anybody else here?" DadSteve asks, perhaps a little unnecessarily, given that they can't really change their minds now. "No, I don't. The friggin' ghost train," Josh says sarcastically, as if he's upset with someone other than himself. You know, being wrong is really hard. Being wrong in front of your parents when you've insisted you were right is probably harder than being wrong at any other time. In fact, it's so hard that I am unwilling to provide any examples of any time I might have been wrong in any such situation involving my parents, in case they ever find out I said anything about it. So I sympathize with Josh, but he's been lecturing his dad about principles of racing since the first episode, and this bit of comeuppance was probably inevitable. "I apologize. I was wrong," Josh says on the train. "See, sometimes Dad's right," DadSteve says. Josh stares miserably out the window. Aw. (Shut up. I'm allowed a moment of weakness.)

4:43 AM. Chuck and Millie, leaving nearly an hour after the last team ahead of them. Millie lays down the blunt-force metaphor about how it's hard for her to be patient with Chuck, because he's so slow. Duck your head, because if it hits you, that sucker will knock you on your ass and leave a mark. Millie, I notice, wears one of those big puffy marshmallow-man winter coats that I think are so impractical in this setting -- couldn't you find a better compromise between warmth and space management? Chuck gently voices over that Millie's extreme competitiveness is not always a good thing, in his opinion, at least from a relationship perspective. I think that what Chuck is too polite to say is basically this: "Millie's great, but if she were less pushy and mean, I probably would have proposed by now."

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Amazing Race

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