Amazing Race
Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!

Chip and Kim have apparently caught the snap that their flight situation is not what they would have hoped for, because they're looking pretty gloomy as they get on the plane. As the plane takes off, the caption says, "FLIGHT WITH LONGER LAYOVER LANDS LAST." I think they really were very fearful that we would be confused. In fact, they may have lost confidence in our intelligence, which...did I mention Alison and Donny? Yeah. There's a lot of that feeling going around.

Jim and Marsha are on their way to the clinic, and they're sitting in a bit of intra-airport traffic. Jim notes that they have about an hour to get this straightened out before they have to get the flight. See? I'm saying, if this were Nicole, she would just fix his knee with swimsuit/ass pageant glue. Already, she would be at an advantage.

Commercials. If you're going to have a lady supposedly be totally obsessive about how to get stains out, then when she talks about rubbing with a toothbrush in a "counterclockwise motion," you could at least have her make a counterclockwise motion, rather than a clockwise motion. Not to be picky.

Jim and Marsha arrive at the clinic at 1:55 PM. She confirms that they're "a little nervous right now" as they go inside, mentioning that their flight leaves at 2:40, and they're "pretty much out of it" should they miss the plane.

In the airport at the United counter, Mirna is breathlessly fretting to Charla that the race is already "vicious," telling her that "two guys got trampled on" (trampled?), and that, indeed, one is getting stitches. She supposes that they're lucky they weren't killed. I think Mirna is like that girl everyone knew in high school who was always explaining how this one time, this girl she knows had nail polish remover in her purse, okay? And then she was in chem lab, right? And there was a Bunsen burner? And the story goes on and on and ends with a catastrophic explosion on the day before the prom. And it is all totally true. She is not even kidding.

The on-screen times would have you believe that it is only 2:10 when Jim and Marsha cruise out of the clinic. Jim shows off his heavily bandaged knee, and says that he received 25 stitches. In fifteen minutes? Heavens. Maybe they did use ass glue. He also says that the doctor told him that he came close to taking out his tendon. Yeesh. Jim and Marsha grab their Thrifty shuttle, which has apparently been waiting, and they head back to the airport.

The United flight shows as "BOARDING," and we see the rest of the teams heading for the plane. Charla and Mirna, Alison and Donny, and Karli/Kami board, as Jim and Marsha continue to fight traffic. The time is 2:21. Linda and Karen board. Brandon and Nicole board. At what we are told is 2:30, Jim and Marsha pull up outside the airport, thank the Thrifty driver, and head inside. Bob and Joyce are on board. Jim and Marsha run for the plane, and before you know it, the gate agent is taking their boarding passes and wishing them a nice trip. Once he's in his seat, Jim tells the camera that "it probably would have been quicker just to amputate the leg." See? I knew that was what he'd be thinking. "Amputate it from the neck down!", Marsha adds, very convinced that she's clever. Fortunately for her, he laughs, even though if you could hear the viewing audience at home, you would hear what would sound like the second movement of The Chirping Cricket Symphony.

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Amazing Race

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