Amazing Race
Competition To The Fullest

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank you, wise man

Rob: "Hey, Drew? Are you loving India, or what?" He's kind of making fun of Drew, but he's also kind of checking in, because Drew looks like hell. This is where, if it was women, one would actually go sit down by the other one and say, "Oh, sweetie, are you okay? You look so sad." But Rob just says, "Are you loving India, or what?" Same difference. Drew can't even laugh. Awww, Drew.

Momily, getting to the train station, dodging pleas for money. Emily explains that she's "totally out of [her] element," and is "exposed to things [she's] never even dreamed of, much less been around." She admits that she's off-balance. Inside, Momily buys tickets. Uhhh, Momily buys tickets? HEY! Momily is trying to buy tickets! Turns out it's hard to buy train tickets in India as a woman. Nancy voices over that it took them an hour and a half to buy tickets. Sheesh. Good thing the train wasn't leaving anytime soon. Emily aptly declares the situation "ridiculous." The scene boarding the train is pretty tense, what with the guards with sticks and everything, and Nancy agrees with me that it was "unnerving." As they prepare for boarding, Momily runs into the Guidos. Guidos and Momily hug, but BOY is that IT. BOY is there no Guidanomaly (tm Quotable Rob) cooperation to be had. I'm not sure why Bill and Joe look so unhappy to see them -- did they think Momily was THAT far behind, that they wouldn't make this train either? Heads out of the sand, Guidos! In a particularly amusing moment, Nancy says, "This is creepy for women," and Bill responds, "I know it is." Uhhhh…you do?

Best Train Sequence Ever. Drew is playing cards with some of the locals, having fun for what looks like the first time all day. The people he's playing with are having some fun, too. Rob, in a speech I'm going to give you all of, because it kicked ass: "The experience is life-altering in the sense of having seen the world in a way I never would have seen it otherwise, having been put into these cultures where you're not a tourist sitting in a hotel, but where you have to interact with the cultures, and I am so humbled by that experience." Rob talks to an older gentleman on the train about the fact that he's on his way to Deshnoke. Drew plays cards some more, and everybody loves him. (Well, of course they do. It's Drew.) Rob bids his new best friend goodnight.

Momily and Guido, boarding the train. They look for their beds. Nancy finds her bed totally disgusting -- "Oh, it's filthy! Oh, gross! …I think somebody was sick up here," she speculates unhappily. Eeew! "This is an all-time low," she says with a sort of good-natured grumpiness as she crawls into bed. Cut to Bill and Joe, sleeping neatly on their backs in matching inflatable neck-pillows, bandannas, and sleep masks. If you have any questions about why the other teams thought the idea of them running through a temple full of rats was funny, get a load of this shot. Furthermore, where the HELL are they getting all this stuff? They have pillows? They have sleep masks? What is this, a James Bond movie? Are the pillows in their watches?

The three o'clock train arrives. Rob gets off first, and he looks -- well, like hell, actually. He's changed clothes (dang) and he's taken his unhappy pills, and the hair? Dreadful. It might be, like, post-sponge-bath or something, I suppose. (Down, Highwaygirl!) The cab-finding at the train station is a bit harrowing, and as usual, the Esquire antennae go up and manage to locate the world's worst cab driver. You know what? It's the New York cabbie they didn't tip! He put some kind of a whammy on them. Their taxi karma has been just horrendous, and that must be why. Just another reason not to buck the system. "We're a little winded ["winded"?], we're on the road to Deshnoke from Bikaner," Rob gripes, uncharacteristically bitterly. The three teams arrive at Deshnoke at the same time, and head for the temple. It's got an awful lot of lights on it for a temple, it occurs to me, because if it were in Vegas, it would be a casino. I'm just saying. That's from the outside. The inside, with the religious gravity and the rats? Not so much. A looooong line of people is waiting to see these rats, even though (or perhaps because?) it's night. Maybe it's a temple you're supposed to visit in the dark. ["I used to have a pet rat, and if I recall correctly, rats are nocturnal. That's the only reason I can think of." -- Sars]

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Amazing Race

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