Kevin and Drew, getting a cab. Drew says, "Get the route marker out." Kevin: "You have it." Drew: "I don't have the route marker." Kevin: "Come on, Drew." Drew looks for it, but he can't find it. They haven't memorized it. Theoretically, this would mean that they don't know where they're going. "I don't have it," Drew insists. "I don't have it."
Commercials. Buy Purina One, because your puppy is fat.
Esquire, zooming toward Jaipur. Brennan, in a very amusingly kicky tone: "We're on the road right now…. It's been another fun and hairy ride along the streets of India." Cut to Rob going, "Whoa," really only a little differently than Joey Lawrence. You can tell he barely restrained himself there from saying, "Whoa! That was so cool!" as they cheated death.
Joe and Bill bitchety-bitch that they're poor because they "wasted" money getting into the Taj Mahal "just to find the piece of paper that we're going to Jaipur." Joe? It's a race, goof! Getting places to get clues is part of it. And you only "wasted" money in that you DIDN'T RIP OFF THE TAJ MAHAL, you creeps. You're practically broke, but it's largely your own fault, so quit your whining.
Kevin finds the route marker in the back of Drew's shorts. "You're so dumb," Kevin says, and again, the repartee seems a little more pointed than usual. I think everybody needs a nap.
Emily and Nancy's cab fuels up. Next to it, a cow lines up for a shot of unleaded.
In the Frat cab, they comment on the general atmospheric smell, which Drew characterizes as "a never-ending smell" that's "worse than smoking twenty cigars at one time." We see a lot of folks on bikes, but also a lot of cows. "Time to break out the heavy artillery," Drew comments as he and Kevin tie their frat bandannas around their faces, Jesse-James-style. (As Lenny did last week, right before he puked his guts out.) "I hope they don't think we're gonna hold up a bank or anything around here," Drew says. They almost have a catastrophic car accident. But they don't. Drew smacks his forehead. "Oooooh, that was close." Drew: The Master Of Inadvertent Physical Comedy.
Hooooooooonk. Momily in their cab. Hoooooooooonk. Honkety-honkety-honkety-hoooooooonk. "Of course we get the driver who cannot take his hand off the horn," Em tells us in an interview. "Can you imagine riding in a guy's cab honking twenty-nine times a minute? If there's a cow in the road, or there's a little kid on a bike, I totally understand -- honk your horn. But there was no one even coming, and he would still honk, like -- maybe it's a status symbol or something, like, 'Look at me, I have a horn, da da da!'" Hey, that's exactly how I drive! In order to really understand the bang-up job she does telling this story, you'd have to see Emily's "look at me, I have a horn" face at the end. Hee! Emily brings the funny. And you can completely tell that she's cracking the camera person or the sound person up, because she has that hey-I'm-being-funny-and-it's-working moment of realization late in this speech, which is also adorable. One point for Emily, The Funny Girl.
Frat cab. "FYI," Drew says, "I heard Bill and Joe through the wall, saying that they have no competition in this race." Now, obviously we have NO way of knowing whether that's true or not. But if that's at all true, then that's very (1) rude; and more importantly (2) unwise thinking on the part of the Guidos.