Speaking of those Guidos, let's cut to them, shall we? Bill: "We're the only team that has been in the top tier the whole game. Everyone else that we're with right now has been way low and now they've worked their way back up into the top tier." They finish off with this gem: "We've always been one, two, or four." Well, those are the magical rankings, after all. Let's analyze this statement for a moment. I don't deny that Bill and Joe's finishing record is better than anyone else's. But it's also true that everyone else has had at least one crappy hit of luck, and they haven't. Furthermore, if you saw Duke beat UNLV in the Final Four in 1991 (and I hope you did, because it was one of the world's great miracles), you know that going all season without being seriously challenged is not necessarily a good thing when it comes down to the end. I don't know who won, and I think it's perfectly fair for Bill and Joe to call themselves the favorites at this point. But there's not a line separating them from the other teams. It's a matter of degree. Win or lose, there's no Guido mystique. Got it? Sheesh.
Frat cab, driving through a fair amount of dirt and dust and (presumably) smell. "Nice country, huh? And you wonder why our nation's slogan is 'God Bless America.'" Hey, Drew? Careful, there. To the degree you're being grateful, that's okay. To the degree you're being contemptuous? Not so much.
Guido, looking for the Palace of the Winds from the bus. Hee! Guidos on the bus go round and round, aaaaaaall throooooough the town!
Esquire cab, Palace of the Winds. Hey! They're first! As they make their way up the steps, I definitely do not steal any surreptitious glances at Rob's back, which is on prominent display this week along with the Tokyo Stompers. They find the Detour. The choices seem boring this week -- ride an elephant up a hill to find a holy man, or ride a rowboat to find a different holy man. Well, okay, riding an elephant itself might be kind of fun, but it's not much to look at. And a rowboat? Please. Anyway, based on their outside reading (mmmm, boys who read), Esquire decides to go for the elephant.
Bus riders departing for the Palace. Danza, then Guido. Danza finds the clue, and heads for the rowboat option. Cut to Guido, running up to the Palace (or so it appears). "If people don't know where the entrance is, this could be difficult," Bill snots, hoping as usual that, contrary to all previous information, everyone here is an idiot except for him. "Yeah, but they probably DO," Joe says, just unbelievably petulantly. "I'm not underestimating these SOBs at all," he continues. Well -- yeah, Joe, you are. But you probably know it's a mistake, deep in your heart of hearts. Guido finds the clue, and also opts for the rowboat. The bus to the rowboat almost leaves without Bill. Heh. That would've been funny.
Frats, Jaipur. "Let's take the boat," Drew says as they fetch the clue. "You and I can row fast, right?" Kevin agrees. "It's like India in here, it's [so] hot!" Drew yells. Heh. Kevin laughs. Momily arrives. Nancy voices over that "one of the things Emily and [Nancy] really wanted to do was ride an elephant, so it's like, 'Hey, what the heck, we're in last place. By George, I'm gonna ride that elephant.'" And that's cool.