Amazing Race
Counting Bears Is Not Rocket Science

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Bale out

We go to the mat, where Bolo and Lori arrive as team number seven. And then...Don and MJ, as team number eight. And they kiss, and you can hear Lori and Bolo cheering for them off-camera, which is cool. And it is flat-out impressive that Don and MJ kept trucking after that totally miserable experience with the Detour, and they certainly came back from what looked like certain defeat.

But of course, I am sad. And why am I sad? Because now we have to return to the field, where Lena, all alone in the field, is saying she doesn't know what to do. I think her problem is that she's too tired to push the bales anymore, which is probably why Kristy tells her that there might be piles knocked over that haven't been gone through yet. Lena protests that she's in some pain, and doesn't want to stay another seven hours. So I'm thinking seven hours is how long she's been doing this. That is a long fucking day, people. That is like getting to work at 9:00 and not quitting until 4:00, and she's not even done. And she's been pushing those fucking hay bales the entire time? My goodness. Kristy raises the possibility that it's a non-elimination, so she feels like they should keep going. Lena turns back to the field -- where many, many untouched bales of hay indeed remain. She manages to unroll another bale.

But then, it is dark. And she is still rolling. And she is still searching through piles. It comes to a merciful end when Phil comes strolling across the field to them. He tells them that Don and MJ checked in more than two hours ago. And that's after the bike and the train back to Stockholm. So I'm thinking they've probably kept at this three hours after the last team left. That is hard-core, y'all. Phil says they estimate she's pushed about 100 bales of hay in the now eight-hour ordeal. Phil tells them that sadly, it is an elimination leg, so they're out. Kristy praises Lena for what a great friend and partner she is, and Phil asks Lena how she kept going for so long. "Probably just not disappointing Kristy," Lena says, and it might sound kind of unfortunate, except that I have a sister, and I totally get that. I would feel the same way. Not because your sister would be disappointed in you, but because she'd be disappointed in the situation. "I knew this was a big deal for her, and I didn't want to be the one to ruin it." See? Just like I said. Kristy gives her a hug. "You didn't," she says.

Executive Producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.

Next week: Will Lori go to jail? Will Hornio keep fighting? And...why is Don crying? Pull it together, man.

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Amazing Race

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