Amazing Race
Courteous? This Is A Race!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt

And finally, Rob and Amber get the trunk open. No, seriously. Rob and Amber have not left yet. They get on the road. "So fah, we're doing good," Rob comments. Amber laughs. "We're in last," she says, "but that's all right." "It's all right; we left in last, but we're gonna get there first," Rob says. I tend to forgive him for playing the role of himself.

Elsewhere, Deana tells Ray not to let anyone pass. But Susan (heh) does pass him, at which point Deana declares that she should have driven, and Ray tightly says, "No, no, no." There is some talk about rules, which I hate, because this is the part where the stupidest problem they've never properly resolved comes up. And that is that they tell people that you have to follow the speed limit, but they never enforce it. It's obvious that this comes up over and over again, and they've never addressed it. I don't doubt for a minute that when Ray brings up "rules we have to follow," he's talking about speeding, and the fact that Patrick and Susan sped to pass. Of course, nothing happened, as nothing ever does. And if you want to have no rule about speeding, then don't have one, but unenforced rules suck, because it makes people who choose to follow what they've been told are the rules suffer. It goes back a long way, and they've never solved it, and they should.

Anyway, Deana interviews that Ray always thinking he's right is hard for her.

Uchenna comments to Joyce that Brian and Greg -- whom he calls "the surfer guys" -- are behind them. And the boys pass. "They are definitely in it to win it," Uchenna comments. Elsewhere, Lynn and Alex pass Chuck and Ryan as well, even with Ryan calling out a warning of, "We got one comin' up on the high side." Hee. "It's the hillbillies!" Lynn and Alex shriek as they pass. Yeah, shriek. And, don't do that. Ryan calls them "the happy boys." Nice euphemism, there, dude. Not obvious at all. "They're uncomfortable, because normally, they're on a tractor," Lynn remarks. Snerk. Oh, it's not that funny, but for a first episode? Yeah, it'll do.

Lynn and Alex are now behind Megan and Heidi, and both teams are sort of lost in a sea of looking down on each other from inside their vehicles. Awesome. And then Heidi almost crashes the car with her and Megan in it. No, really. Almost crashes. You can tell from the screeching brakes and the way Megan's boobs are thrown into the back of the front seat. I think that was a fairly close moment, there. It scares them enough that Lynn comments breathlessly that "they almost got in a wreck." Also enough that the girls discuss whether Megan ought to take over the driving. As Heidi and Megan are passed by Debbie and Bianca, Debbie says, "See ya, big boobie beauties." Yeah. Let she who has never done roller disco in tube socks cast the first stone, Woman Of Substance. Debbie and Bianca pass, and then cackle at their good fortune.

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Amazing Race

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