Amazing Race
Desert Storm

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I'd walk a mile for a Camel

Drew and Kev decide to hire a driver. "Let him drive!" Drew calls. "What the hell am I driving around here for?" Once they're in the cab, Drew is trying to figure out what they're doing, and Kevin says, "Everybody calm down one second." Obviously, Kevin has not talked to Bruckheimer, who would probably sue everyone for breach of contract if anybody involved in this hyperkinetic weirdfest actually calmed down.

Meanwhile, Momily meets the monument. (If I were any more functionally alliterate, this would be a Six Feet Under recap.) Apparently, their evil driver at least got them where they needed to go. At just about the same time, here comes Team Cockroach. Cockroach and Momily collaborate about what to do, agreeing that they can't figure out where the Puzzling thing would be, and thus settling on the Listening, as have Kevin and Drew. Team Danza comes up right behind this little group.

When they're settled into their SUV and trying to get going, Momily has a few initial navigational difficulties, which make Emily clench her fingers in frustration. Man, Emily, get rid of the braids. You look like you've left twelve bald Pippi Longstockings in your wake.

In the Shower-Fresh Cab, Drew says to the driver, "So, you have walkie-talkie?" No response. "You have our walkie-talkie?" asks Kev, making what I guess he considers to be the international hand signal for "walkie-talkie," which, with the waggling fingers, looks a little like the international hand signal for Look Out Look Out A Spider With Lots Of Legs Is Coming For You. "Is this guy supposed to be talking to us, or what?" Drew wonders, and Kevin replies, "I don't think he's talking to us at all."

Margarita and Loud Pushy Frank jump on board the Danza-mobile, in which they're driving themselves. Margarita is having a little trouble with the map. "We're lost already," LPFrank complains helpfully. Team Guido is also making its way toward the walkie-talkie game, with Joe in the driver's seat.

At the walkie-talkie site, which is called Ksar Hadada, Kevin and Drew are the first to arrive. (Wooooo!) They grab the first walkie-talkie and start yakking into it. "Check, check," Drew check-checks. Reading aloud from the description of the task, Kevin refers to "the caves which lie ahead." He gestures in front of them and repeats, "Lie ahead." It's hard to explain, and quite possible that you had to be there, but it was funny. Speaking of those caves, I'm not sure how to describe the locale, except to say that if you picture a series of side-by-side light-brown clay-looking buildings, each with many little rooms, all arranged in a large maze so that there are doors pointing in all directions, you might be close. Phil refers to "hundreds of tiny chambers," and that's probably okay, too. What you need to know is that there's a lot of wandering around to be done before you can find anything, and conducting an organized, methodical search won't be easy. The idea of this particular game is that when you're talking into one walkie-talkie, you can hear yourself coming over the other one, so if you follow your own echo, you'll find it.

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Amazing Race

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