Amazing Race
Desert Storm

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I'd walk a mile for a Camel

Nice editing brings us a lovely shot of the butts of the Guidos. What are they doing? Climbing roofs right off the bat. Fans everywhere jump up and cheer. "They [Kevin and Drew] were up on the roof," Bill says in a way he believes to be clever. (Now THIS, I would point out, constitutes "playing people like violins.") Next thing you know, here's Joe, trying to climb down from the roof. He has a raging wedgie, his natty Bill-matching pants are pinching the hell out of him, and Bill, on the ground, is awkwardly trying to grab his butt in a way that does more harm than good. Eventually, Joe drops down and Bill says, "Good job, good job." Yeah, no kidding. Great job letting gravity have its way with you! Woooo! As they go back to looking for the W-T, Joe encourages Bill to "sing 'Happy Birthday' or something."

Brilliant cut to Team Shower-Fresh, clapping and enjoying the music the driver is playing in their SUV. Hee! "We're in first place, and we're not giving it up," Drew voices over.

Esquire cab. Rob's got the damn hat on. Hey, Rob! Lose! The! Hat! In spite of the fact that there's nothing necessarily wrong with the hat itself…it bothers me. Why is that? Ah, I'll figure it out. "This is an amazingly difficult game to play," says Rob's voice. "It's just about taking the task at hand and getting it done as best you can, just like any competition." This Rob moment is once again taken from that interview, mentioned in the previous recap, in which his shades are upside down on top of his head. Stop, Rob, stop! Put DOWN the sunglasses! Way to work in Bruckheimer's theme of "amazingness," though.

Lenny and Karyn. Their driver puts air in the tires. And he's really, really slow. No, like REALLY slow. At least, that's the impression you get from the way they're imploring him to go faster. It sounds like this: "Go faster." "Go faster." "Can’t you go faster?" "Go faster." "Go faster." Man, I bet that Karyn is a hit at parties.

Commercials. Eat Oreos, and use AOL.

Karyn says that sometimes, she and Lenny fight so much that they can't get anything done. Well, she doesn't put it that way. She puts it in terms of "focusing on what's going on between the two of you" versus "concentrating on what's ahead," but what she means is that they're fighting too much to do a good job in the race, and she's right. In the cab, they look very, very unhappy.

As the Shangri-Las would say…oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Joe is freaking COUNTING in FRENCH into the WALKIE-TALKIE. I swear, somebody is feeding Joe insufferability pills. He then switches to Japanese, not that I would have known without the help of the forums. (Thanks, forums!) Insufferable Joe finds the W-T, and I'm actually glad, because that means that I don’t have to hear him attempt Pig Latin or COBOL.

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Amazing Race

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