Amazing Race

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Terence and Sarah are leaving third, at 1:13 a.m. While leaving the Pit Stop, Sarah somehow emits a noise like a reel-to-reel recorder whose tape is attached to a bungee jumper. She interviews, "I'm realizing that everybody else is out for themselves, so it's not a popularity competition. It's actually us against the other teams." What happened to the love? These two are so confusing. Did they somehow decide that they got mean-girled again at the Pit Stop? In more encouraging news, Terence's hair is looking refreshingly normal. Perhaps he could only carry a week's worth of product in his pack.

Aja and Ty are leaving at 1:14. In an interview, she reminds us that they are a long-distance couple, and that the race has reinforced her feelings for him. And Toni and Dallas leave at 1:15. Dallas (whose hair-product supply seems to be holding out quite nicely, thank you) interviews that the race is about "getting to know each other on a different level." It's difficult to argue that you can really know a person without spending a month sprinting past international landmarks with them. Meanwhile, the first three teams are arriving at the airport and scrambling hither and yon.

Nick and Starr leave at 1:17, and Starr interviews, "You've got to be really careful how you play with the other teams, because you don't want to put a target on your back." Nick nods sagely in agreement, as though he hadn't ostentatiously screwed Andrew during the Road Block last week. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure they're referring to how other teams need to be careful.

Speaking of targets-on-backs-putting, here are Team Divorced, Kelly and Christy, leaving at 1:18. In their interview, Christy talks about how they handle stress: "We don't get annoyed at each other, we get annoyed at other people and then we laugh about it to each other." Are they trying to sneak into my target demographic?

Frat Boys Dan and Andrew are leaving at 1:22 a.m., with Andrew admitting that while they aren't the most athletic, "I'm satisfied with the way I look. I'm happy with myself. I think I look pretty sexy, so..." Dan just laughs. I'm not sure if Andrew is being serious. If he is, it's the funniest thing either of them has said so far.

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Amazing Race

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