Amazing Race

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At the bikes, Mark and Bill have donned protective gloves and helmets. What's awesome is that for some reason that is never explained, all the protective gear is festooned with long, black feathers. Geeks in plumage! Except again, I'm not sure they're really geeks, because I don't hear either one of them using the term "Brundlechicken," which is what they look like. They mount their bikes, and go off half-cocked in more than one sense of the phrase. "Oh, this is going to be bad," Bill says as they get rolling down the hill. Mark simply emits a long, shaky vowel sound to demonstrate how the wooden wheels on the cobblestone streets are setting him all a-vibrating from toes to tailfeathers (the ones rising from the crest of his helmet, that is). At least they're going downhill, which is good because these things don't have pedals. It's also bad, because Mark nearly t-bones a passing car at the bottom of the alley, only avoiding a collision because the car gets out of his way before he gets there. This show must have some Amazing Insurance, not to mention some Amazing Legal Waivers.

Other teams are walking, having varying degrees of difficulty with the thin air. Tina in particular wonders how the locals get around, because she's unfamiliar with such concepts as altitude acclimatization and human adaptability. Even her own eyebrows are like, "What? We love it up here. Feels like home." The Frat Boys arrive at the plaza that 's hosting the first group of band members. Basically it's pairs of guys in different-colored dress shirts and white ties, each with a snare or bass drum. Dan snags a couple of guys in blue shirts, and they head off, the drummers playing what sounds like a dirge and pacing themselves appropriately. Andrew does a little dance as he co-leads the band, which doesn't help with Dan's frustration. Way to cement your role as the uptight one, dude.

Marisa and Brooke don't seem to be far behind, saying that they'll do well at this because they're so friendly. I'm sure that makes sense to them. They flag down a pair of redshirts and march off happily.

Mark and Bill cruise along on their tree-cycles, far ahead of Ken|Tina and Terence|Sarah (who have presumably been forced to abandon Ana Maria at the top of the hill). Terence is making vague threats to Sarah about what will happen if she lets Tina beat her. At least he looks less ridiculous with those feathers on his head than he did during the first couple of legs. Back at the top of the hill, Team Divorced is wheeling out while Team Long Distance is still gearing up. An interview reminds us that Kelly and Christy consider Nick and Starr their "archrivals." They head downhill, struggling all the way. Ty and Aja are also having trouble. Ty advises her to use her brakes, and apparently she thinks that means she should slow down by bouncing off the high curb. Finally, Nick and Starr mount their bikes at the top of the hill, he warning her not to wipe out as they try to catch the teams in front of them. Oh, and wiping out is clearly a danger, because Christy has done just that.

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Amazing Race

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