Amazing Race
Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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These bootings are made for taking a taxi

Aaron and Arianne discuss the fact that they have to walk instead of taking a taxi. Heave, meanwhile, notices as they drive along that they don't see other teams walking. But, of course, they're already driving. Ken and Gerard, meanwhile, run for the pit stop, as do Derek and Drew, FloZach, and Jill and John Vito. Jill says she has a bad cramp, but she keeps running. Aaron and Arianne can't find the pit stop. Heather and Eve have found it, though. Their cab took them right to it -- go figure! They are the first to carefully walk (not run! Not jump!) onto the Amazing Mat. They are greeted by...my goodness. It's a Portuguese sailor of some kind. He is...lovely. And when I say "lovely," I mean...lovely. Phil tells them that they are "the first team to arrive." Hmm. Heather tries to look excited, but I think she knows something is screwy. "It was psychotic, because nobody else was around us," Eve says grimly.

Elsewhere, Aaron and Arianne try to flag someone down who will give them directions. No one wants to help them. Ken and Gerard, meanwhile, hit the mat. They are told they're the second team to arrive. As was noted this week on the forums, it is definitely one of their coolest qualities that when they get to the mat, they don't just go "woo!" or "all right!" or anything like that. They actually go, "Yaaaaay!" Which I love. In an interview post-mat, they beam. Seriously, could they be any cuter if they were fuzzy bunnies? I think not.

Aahab is still lost.

FloZach is rushing for the pit stop. They hit the mat, and are very happy to hear that they're third. The Twins are next, and look a little unhappy that they slid to fourth. I tell you, bad cabbies are death in these very close legs.

Ian is yelling at Teri to go faster. "Come on, Teri! Please!" He also says "dig it in" and "hoo-ah" and some other things that would make me throw something at him, if I were in her position. "Run!" he says. "You gotta do this now!" he says, just like he's her football coach or her domineering father. Y-U-C-K, man. That is creepy.

Next on the mat is Firecop.

Teri and Ian continue to head for the pit stop. "I'm dropping my pack," Teri moans. "No! I love you! Come on!" Ian yells. Yeah, right. "I love you." Yelled in exactly the same tone he yells everything else. I got the feeling that that was a pull-out-every-weapon-in-the-arsenal moment for old Ian. "I'll give you money! Do it for your country! My mother would do it! Wild dogs chasing you! Uh...I love you!" They approach the pit stop. Once again, they have narrowly avoided elimination. Snore. "We ran our asses off!" Ian says. "I yelled at her, I dragged her, I prompted her...we made it!" Wow. It's cool how he did all the work with the prompting and the dragging, and she didn't have to do anything, like walk or run or push a huge-ass ninety-pound barrel of wine or anything. Get a grip, Pepe Le Ew. "God Bless America!" he yells, apropos of nothing.

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Amazing Race

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