Amazing Race
Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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These bootings are made for taking a taxi

Back at the bottles, Michael and Kathy grab their clue.

The HugeTinies and the BoBs all wind up at pay phones, trying to pre-book flights to Portugal. A twin observes that Gerard is The King Of The Airport Booking Process. Wow, if this alliance has a guy in it who can work the airport, it has some nice strengths going for it. No whiners, no slackers, good looks for when that helps, and an airport genius. Nice. I also like the way that Gerard rubs his head while he books tickets. Is it good luck to rub your own bald head? That would be really handy, though I sort of think it would give bald men an unfair advantage in the grand scheme of things. But it would explain a lot about Jesse Ventura. FloZach, meanwhile, books tickets for themselves, Heave, and Aahab. Michael and Kathy, cut loose temporarily from the rest of the HugeTinies, seek help from a young bald fellow who tries to help them with the use of his cell phone. Michael tells Kathy to give the kid a couple of pounds for the use of the phone, and he waves her off. "It's free!" he says. "It's my mom's phone!" HA! Everyone laughs. Ah, international freeloaders.

1:59 AM. Jill and John "Bon, John Bon" Vito. Here's Jill's voice-over: "What don't I love about John Vito? He's just...so kind, and so good to me. I know he appreciates me, and he treasures me and finds me special, too, and I think that's what makes us the great couple that we are." That is so cute. Nothing is cooler than choosing "kind" as the first word to describe how much you love your boyfriend. Furthermore, she says it with this tone of surprise, like it strikes her again every day how cool he is, and that's excellent, too. What don't I love about that speech? She rules. Jill for President.

Funny Bald Freeloader puts Michael and Kathy in a cab and says goodbye. They thank him. Thanks, Funny Bald Freeloader! In the cab, Kathy comments that she finally feels good, after they've been lagging for a while. Michael does a little drum-machine-club-dance thing in the cab, which is...kind of annoying, but if he knows it's dorky, it might also be a little bit funny. It's hard to tell. If Michael thinks he's cool, we have serious issues. If he's pretending to think he's cool, he might be a tiny bit funny.

Jill and John Vito grab their bottle, and are happy just to be going to Portugal. Note that Jill's hair is all wavy and wacky this week, like she didn't get a chance to blow it out straight or something. Maybe we're finally leaving the first part of the race, in which people still delude themselves into thinking they can do the whole thing without stinking or being caught on television with their hair going in five directions. That part of the race never lasts.

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Amazing Race

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