Amazing Race
Did You See How I Stopped It? With My Face

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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These bootings are made for taking a taxi

The stragglers, Firecop and Teri and the Hat, arrive in London. They meet up with the HugeTinies at the gate. Aaron, still angling for that pot/kettle award, grumbles his annoyance that Teri and Ian have arrived, "as loud and obnoxious as ever." Ian says, on the other hand, that he feels great, what with the bunching and everything. "Someone else [can] smell some rear end for a while," he says. Yuck. You can just hear dogs all around the world yipping, "Bark! Bark! Don't associate yourself with our time-honored socialization rituals, you big jerk! Bark, bark!"

Arianne points out that everyone except BoB is now on the same flight, so they're hoping that BoB will miss the connection in Cologne. In Cologne, the London-Cologne flight lands. Gerard urges everyone to hustle it to the Cologne-Portugal leg. They voice over that they had about five minutes to run across two terminals. At the Lufthansa check-in, however, the nice lady tells them they're too late, and the plane is leaving without them. Sigh. They despair.

Commercials. All right, if I have to accept Adam Sandler as a romantic hero, then the universe is just as screwed up as I've always feared, and all hope is gone.

The drunken cameramen are downright jittery as the British Airways flight carrying the HugeTinies and the Lufthansa flight that the Band of Brothers is trying to make prepare for departure. In Cologne, the BoB continues to try to beg its way onto the flight. On the HugeTinies flight, everyone is hoping that BoB will be left holding the bag. Finally, Friendly Check-In Lady calls out to the gate and tells them to hold the BoB plane. Ooh, dodged a bullet there, guys. Gerard interviews that the BoB alliance suits him just fine, thank you very much, and seems to work well for everyone.

The two Amazing Yellow Lines from Cologne and London converge on Porto, Portugal. BoB arrives first, as planned, and jumps into taxis. They're heading for Calem Port Lodge, which Phil explains is a winery on the edge of town. In the TwinCab, Drew comments that traveling with Oppositamazov has been terrific. "We get along so well with them," he says. Aw -- this is always my favorite part, where the people who you wouldn't think necessarily have anything in common get together and like each other. And you know who I think caused this pretty strong bond to develop? The HugeTinies. Nice going, Captains Counterproductive.

The HugeTinies plane arrives in Porto. "I'm going to get ugly if I have to," Ian comments. Well, the hat is a good start. Inside the terminal, he starts yelling for a cab. "Taxi! Taxi!" Outside the terminal, he yells some more. He and Teri get a cab near where Aahab grabs theirs. In the Aahab cab, Aaron snots that "Ian defines 'ugly American.' You don't walk in screaming and yelling in the middle of a terminal." I agree with him, actually -- not that it makes any sense for him to be the one saying it, given the way he acts himself. Aaron calls Ian a "pig." Eh, I won't argue with that. But then he says he wants "to see them go down," and he goes, "Ch-ching!" Not to nitpick, but that's not what "ch-ching" even means. Considering that he follows up with a snotting of, "Thank you for playing," it would appear that what Aaron wanted was a sound effect representing elimination, which would certainly not be "ch-ching." I'm sorry, but I'm just saying. If you're going to drag out your full complement of hip clichés, you have to be prepared for the fact that you're going to be held to a fairly high standard. He might try a buzzing noise next time. In his cab, the Hat declares that "the gloves are off" and "the race is on."

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Amazing Race

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