Amazing Race
Divide And Conquer

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I hate Paris in the springtime...

Pat and Brenda, apparently too frustrated to keep up the hunt for the museum, opt for the Fast Forward pass. Phil says that the Fast Forward pass, in this case, is located on the banks of the Zambezi River. Cue green-filtered camera shots of the Zambezi River. What the hell is with the gel filters? Am I watching South Pacific all of a sudden? (I am currently waving to the three people who get that joke.) The Fast Forward clue tells Pat and Brenda that "there's only one name for you -- Bundu." Pat says "Bundu" sounds familiar, which for some reason I find completely hysterical. Go figure my sense of humor.

5:33 AM. Gooooooood morning, Dark Hair and Light Hair! Dressed in dumb do-rags, they head out. Dark Hair says Light Hair is very competitive. Light Hair agrees, referring to her willingness to "kick some butt" in that way that people do when they think the kicking of butt has something to do with Trivial Pursuit or acing somebody else out of the last Gucci purse at Bloomingdale's.

5:50 AM. Paul and Amie prepare for departure, with Amie wearing the WB-trademarked Andie McPhee Teeny Tiny Ponytail Horns Of Fashion Tragedy. Paul appears to be wearing red parachute pants. Uh, Paul, no. This is not a New Kids concert. Apparently asked to comment on their emotional state and how the relationship is going, Amie says they've had fights, and Paul says he's at the top of his stress level. I, for one, am hoping that one of these two just hauls off and pops the other one before it's all over -- who's with me? (No, no, not really. No hitting, I know. I just hope they pull each other's hair.) She tells him, for some reason, to "shut the hell up," and I'm all for that.

6:24 AM. Davey and Margaretta take off. The smart, smart Davey starts by ASKING SOMEONE before he goes driving off. (I love Davey. I mean, not in a he-needs-to-hire-Lauren-Ambrose's-attorneys, cease-and-desist, knock-it-off-you-Internet-freak, severed-foot-jokes-combined-with-stalking-aren't-funny kind of way. Just in a friendly, granddaughterly way.) After getting the key info, Davey leads Margaretta down the path walking, which is more than any of the young athletes did. He voices over that he was a fighter pilot, so he's always very positive about what he can accomplish. Davey says to his bride, "This is the right way, honey. Trust me," and I, for one, do. Wave to Team Ensure, because you're not going to see them very much this week.

7:09 AM. Kevin and Drew are off. Upon reading the museum clue, Drew says, with slight sarcasm but not bitterness, "We love Songwe." Kevin voices over that he loves Drew like a brother, and Drew voices over that he doesn't allow Kevin in his apartment, because friends never take their shoes off when they come over, and they make a mess. You know, just when I think I love these guys as much as I'm ever going to, they pull out something like that. Long live Team Shower-Fresh Scent. Furthermore, Drew actually hypothesizes that perhaps since they're already in Songwe Village, the Songwe Museum should be nearby. I don’t know where that frat was, but their education is serving these guys better than whatever law school is responsible for Rob and Brennan.

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Amazing Race

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